I have been devouring every link with a story about the Penn State nightmare. It's bordering on obsessive at this point, but it has taken over my obsession with mocking and being angry at the "Occupiers." Turns out, I only have enough anger in me to direct it at one group at a time. Pennsylvania wins!
Aside from the obvious, who is at fault here? Certainly the rapist. That's what he is. A rapist. A child rapist. There's no glossing over this. He's been a known child rapist and predator since 1998, but truth be told, and assumptions being made, he was evil long before 1998.
So, who's at fault for allowing this to continue? Certainly all those currently named. And while I dream of some enraged father or mother going "Old Testament" on his ass and exacting a painful, bloody revenge invloving the removal of certain body parts with a rusty knife of one specific perpetrator, I would like it to be known, for the record, one thing.
When one witnesses evil and does nothing to stop it, one is allowing evil to continue and is, therefore, evil as well. I stopped wondering how that former graduate assistant, now Penn State assistant coach lives with himself and looks at himself in the mirror every day. In 2002, he watched a grown man rape a 10-year-old boy. Instead of yelling out, or jumping in to stop this, he walked out and called his dad. Not the police. His dad. He never called the police. No one did. Evil.
Now, it is coming out that this charity, this place of refuge for troubled boys, was allegedly involved in something much deeper, much more sinister (if that's possible) than one sick and evil rapist. It has been reported that the CHARITY and the RAPIST made these boys available to other rich Penn State donors. If this is true, if it is even true that ONE child was pimped out to a rich donor... I can't even form words at the thought here.
I know that there is evil in this world. I just didn't expect the faces of it to be what they are.
And to those of you out there who are enraged that Joe Paterno was fired, even though he "broke no law" and "followed protocol." Um, no. Let me break it down for you.
There are legal statutes that REQUIRE you report susupected abuse to the proper authorities. A university president is NOT that authority, you addlepated dumbasses.
Secondly, we all, each of us, has a duty and resposiblility as HUMAN BEINGS to protect innocent lives from harm. I wasn't in the locker room that night in 2002, no. Thankfully, I have never had to witness that kind of evil personally. What I do know is this. I would not have walked out of that room without doing something to protect that boy.
I'm starting to ramble a bit. I just cannot wrap my head around this. Indefensible acts. Immoral actions AND inactions. Evil.
Evil.
Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Living in the Shallow End Some Days
It seems my days lately are filled to the brim with work, t-ball, Tae Kwon Do, dinner, laundry, and the like. I used to update this blog on an almost daily basis and now I consider it a victory if I can make it a weekly thing. Looking at the date of my last post, I even failed at that. The busier my real life gets, the more my writing and escape hatch suffers. Oh well.
Last week, my friend Jessica posted my blog about facebook and girlfriends on her facebook page. I received more hits on my blog in one day than I had the entire month before. Thanks Jess! That was really cool. I was pretty honored that a woman who does pretty well for herself by writing actually thought my little story was good. You’d think with that kind of press and all those new people, I could have updated, huh? You’d be wrong. I can't even download pictures to my computer!
I have approximately eleven million pictures on my digital camera that require downloading, backing up, and uploading to facebook, Kodak Gallery, and here. It’s sort of overwhelming. Plus, when I went to my parents’ house for Easter, I found a proverbial gold mine of old photos, including my wedding pictures. I now have all my wedding pictures in digital format. It’s pretty awesome. And we are about to add to the masses of photos pretty soon.
Dr Pop, Boy Pop, and I have planned a trip to Mazatlan for Memorial Day weekend. It will be the first time we have taken Boy Pop with us to Mexico. I am pretty excited about it, but of course, all this brou-ha-ha about the swine flu has put a bit of a black cloud over everything. I seriously doubt that all the deaths in Mexico that they “suspect” to be related to this new illness are truly the swine flu. It’s just a hunch. We don’t want to cancel our trip, but we don’t want to get sick, either. Oh well, we have a month…
Speaking of, over on the right hand side, I have a link to my workout blog. To tell you the truth, I rarely update it anymore (I mean, c’mon! I don’t update *this* blog often, so why would I update a secondary one more?). It’s fairly seasonal. I get all gung-ho and start working out around February or March, to prepare for our annual pilgrimage to a Mexico beach in May. This year, we took our trip at the end of February, so my workout timing got all screwed up. And my typical modus operandi is to work out like a fiend up until the trip, then not do a whole helluva lot the rest of the year. Healthy? No. The right thing to do? Doubtful. But it is what it is. And this year has been no exception. So I’ve been sitting on my ass (read, toting my boy to t-ball and martial arts and cooking dinner and everything else) and not working out.
*Embarrassing confession alert!* Imagine my surprise when I got on the scale the other day and it was about 10 pounds heavier than it should have been! I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was! So yesterday, I finally got off my butt and got it running. I am terribly sore today. But I’m motivated. And motivation is key. We never do anything without proper motivation. Working out is no exception. Two things motivate me to exercise: The thought of being in a bikini and the thought that I might run into someone I dislike when I'm not looking my best.
It's a girl thing, I think. You know what I'm talking about ladies, right? For me, it is always being "on" if I think that there is a chance that I might run into someone I don't like when I'm out and about. I know it is shallow. Jen Lancaster wrote about this on her blog a while ago, before her book Such A Pretty Fat came out and it really hit home. Having a nemesis is motivational sometimes. They don’t even have to know that they are motivating you. For me, it just won’t do to have this particular chica be in better shape than me. So when I feel myself slipping, I remind myself that I could be embarrassed should our paths cross.
Whatever works. Although, when I posted on twitter that I was running instead of doing Turbo Jam and did that count? Someone actually replied to me that of course it did and I should gradually up my intensity. It was so cute. They have obviously never read anything I’ve ever written before and didn’t know that I was being sort of sarcastic and that my question was rather rhetorical. Oh well. I thought it was sweet.
I definitely have more to say, but I just cannot form sentences at the moment. My sales quarter at work is going to end in three and a half days. I’d better focus on closing some of my outstanding deals instead of writing more.
Last week, my friend Jessica posted my blog about facebook and girlfriends on her facebook page. I received more hits on my blog in one day than I had the entire month before. Thanks Jess! That was really cool. I was pretty honored that a woman who does pretty well for herself by writing actually thought my little story was good. You’d think with that kind of press and all those new people, I could have updated, huh? You’d be wrong. I can't even download pictures to my computer!
I have approximately eleven million pictures on my digital camera that require downloading, backing up, and uploading to facebook, Kodak Gallery, and here. It’s sort of overwhelming. Plus, when I went to my parents’ house for Easter, I found a proverbial gold mine of old photos, including my wedding pictures. I now have all my wedding pictures in digital format. It’s pretty awesome. And we are about to add to the masses of photos pretty soon.
Dr Pop, Boy Pop, and I have planned a trip to Mazatlan for Memorial Day weekend. It will be the first time we have taken Boy Pop with us to Mexico. I am pretty excited about it, but of course, all this brou-ha-ha about the swine flu has put a bit of a black cloud over everything. I seriously doubt that all the deaths in Mexico that they “suspect” to be related to this new illness are truly the swine flu. It’s just a hunch. We don’t want to cancel our trip, but we don’t want to get sick, either. Oh well, we have a month…
Speaking of, over on the right hand side, I have a link to my workout blog. To tell you the truth, I rarely update it anymore (I mean, c’mon! I don’t update *this* blog often, so why would I update a secondary one more?). It’s fairly seasonal. I get all gung-ho and start working out around February or March, to prepare for our annual pilgrimage to a Mexico beach in May. This year, we took our trip at the end of February, so my workout timing got all screwed up. And my typical modus operandi is to work out like a fiend up until the trip, then not do a whole helluva lot the rest of the year. Healthy? No. The right thing to do? Doubtful. But it is what it is. And this year has been no exception. So I’ve been sitting on my ass (read, toting my boy to t-ball and martial arts and cooking dinner and everything else) and not working out.
*Embarrassing confession alert!* Imagine my surprise when I got on the scale the other day and it was about 10 pounds heavier than it should have been! I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was! So yesterday, I finally got off my butt and got it running. I am terribly sore today. But I’m motivated. And motivation is key. We never do anything without proper motivation. Working out is no exception. Two things motivate me to exercise: The thought of being in a bikini and the thought that I might run into someone I dislike when I'm not looking my best.
It's a girl thing, I think. You know what I'm talking about ladies, right? For me, it is always being "on" if I think that there is a chance that I might run into someone I don't like when I'm out and about. I know it is shallow. Jen Lancaster wrote about this on her blog a while ago, before her book Such A Pretty Fat came out and it really hit home. Having a nemesis is motivational sometimes. They don’t even have to know that they are motivating you. For me, it just won’t do to have this particular chica be in better shape than me. So when I feel myself slipping, I remind myself that I could be embarrassed should our paths cross.
Whatever works. Although, when I posted on twitter that I was running instead of doing Turbo Jam and did that count? Someone actually replied to me that of course it did and I should gradually up my intensity. It was so cute. They have obviously never read anything I’ve ever written before and didn’t know that I was being sort of sarcastic and that my question was rather rhetorical. Oh well. I thought it was sweet.
I definitely have more to say, but I just cannot form sentences at the moment. My sales quarter at work is going to end in three and a half days. I’d better focus on closing some of my outstanding deals instead of writing more.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Facebook and Girlfriends
I've been way too addicted to Facebook lately. I'm a little torn, actually. On the one hand, I have a small circle of friends on there, who I've known forever, who I am still in contact with. Facebook is just another way of keeping in touch. And it gives us the opportunity to connect when normally we wouldn't. For example, I never see some of my friends. But on fb, I can write on their walls, see pictures of their kids, laugh, and joke. And since I detest talking on the phone and avoid it at all costs, this has been fantastic.
On the other hand, it is a reminder of all that made me miserable growing up. I have these high school friends on fb and they are really acquaintences. We were not friends growing up. We just knew each other. We went to the same parties. They were part of the "in" group. I was on the periphery. And that's fine. I thought I got over all that stuff 17 years ago. But after someone posted pictures they'd scanned of the social club I'd been left out of my sophomore year of high school, I regressed for a moment to that 15 year old insecure little girl who just wanted to be popular. Ugh. I nearly cancelled my membership.
Then, I stepped back from the ledge and started thinking about myself. I did some introspection. And I decided that I'm not a very good girlfriend in the normal ways and here's why:
On the other hand, it is a reminder of all that made me miserable growing up. I have these high school friends on fb and they are really acquaintences. We were not friends growing up. We just knew each other. We went to the same parties. They were part of the "in" group. I was on the periphery. And that's fine. I thought I got over all that stuff 17 years ago. But after someone posted pictures they'd scanned of the social club I'd been left out of my sophomore year of high school, I regressed for a moment to that 15 year old insecure little girl who just wanted to be popular. Ugh. I nearly cancelled my membership.
Then, I stepped back from the ledge and started thinking about myself. I did some introspection. And I decided that I'm not a very good girlfriend in the normal ways and here's why:
- I don't like to leave my house or my neighborhood once I'm there for the night or weekend.
- I don't enjoy talking on the phone.
- I don't like to go out without my husband.
- Hell, I still haven't met one of my college roommates second child and he's almost a year old! And the last time I saw my other college roommate, she had one child (who was a baby) and now her daughters are in school (or about to be).
- Girls' Nights Out are nonexistant in my world.
- I don't shop well with others.
- I don't ever meet anyone for lunch.
- I've never gone on a "girls" trip.
I could go on, but over the past few years or so, I've put myself in this little insulated world which revolves around my husband, our son, and our neighborhood. I don't know why or how it happend, but I rarely stray from it. Sure, I have a lot of fun! We are always doing something. But the typical "girly" stuff is pretty much nil. Maybe it's poor time management. It always seems that everyone but me has time to go to the gym, shop, tote the kids to their various functions, cook dinner, clean the house, spend time with their friends, and work a full time job. I get overwhelmed by it all.
But I would like to say to all of my girlfriends out there, I might not do all the little things that girlfriends are supposed to do, but you will never find someone more fiercely loyal or protective or willing to come when needed. You know I'm there for you. Always.
Maybe we could meet for lunch?Thursday, August 14, 2008
Blaaahhh... Rambling...
Today marks Day 89 of 90+ degree weather here in Central Texas (I was mistaken that we didn't hit 90 two days ago). We are supposed to hit 100 again today as well. People, it is hot here. August is half over and in 11 days, my boy will start the school curriculum and have to go back to wearing uniforms. Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday that we were missing the first leg of our flight to Mexico.
Well, a good chunk of our time has been spent at the pool. We don't go until late in the day, but there is still plenty of time to get some sun and exercise after I get home from work! Boy Pop has been in heaven! He is truly a water baby (sometimes I think he must have a set of gills somewhere!).
I had these lofty plans of going down the road to Sea World or Six Flags Fiesta Texas, or to a water park this summer, but that stuff never really materialized, unfortunately. To be honest, we haven't really missed out on anything by not going. We'll wait until the weather cools... In NOVEMBER!
I have to say that this has been the summer of weekday and weekend commitments, too... There has been something we've ABSOLUTELY had to attend every single week. Rarely has there been an open weekend, either. It's been crazy and fun and full of unique memories. I mean, not many people can say that while they were on the largest boat on Lake Travis, they saw a totally nude girl skipping around on a bachelor party houseboat? Hey, it was a new experience for me at least.
As we enter August, a new phase of the year begins... Football Season! My Longhorns have started practice, as have the Dallas Cowboys. We are very happy here in the Pop household that HBO's Hard Knocks has returned to the Cowboy training camp this year! Our Longhorn tickets have been purchased, the parking has been secured, and our friends have retained their Miller and XX beer sponsorships for their tailgate. We seem to be all set for August 30th (the first game) except...
The Dr and Mrs are headed to Vegas for Labor Day weekend! I love being in Vegas on this particular weekend... I could spend hours in the sports book watching the games! There is just so much excitement and good-natured school spirit there. Too much fun!
As the days speed by, I am reminded that we are almost two-thirds of the way through 2008. I cannot believe it! Soon Boy Pop will be 5. Let me say that again. He will be 5. He is such a boy. I still get glimpses into the baby he was every now and then, but that part of him is fading away as he grows into this amazing little person. I've been a little down lately, and in on and off cranky moods. I think I am grieving a little. I do not want to let go of that sweet little toddler and preschooler. I hate that I have missed things by not being with him during the day. I grieve for time that I've wasted by not playing Transformers or Star Wars (Light "saver" fights made with construction paper "savers"). The other day, as I was about to head out the door to the office, he came downstairs. He had been a little under the weather, so I went into his playroom to talk to him a bit before I had to go.
"Mommy, will you stay home with me today?" Damn near broke my heart! I went straight to my computer, logged in, and let my manager know I would not be at work.
So summer is quickly coming to an end (officially, yes, unofficially, we'll still have swimming weather until October). To me summer is such a relaxed time, a time to take a break from business as usual. Work is more casual. Chores are less important. Heavy and complicated meals fall by the wayside for salads and wraps. Frozen drinks prevail (to cool off, I swear!). There's tanned skin and no school zones to battle. No homework and it's okay to stay up a little later during the week. I'm not ready for that to end.
The next week and a half will be spent enjoying and appreciating the final days before we have to be a little more "buttoned up" and on-time. There will be a birthday party and a trip to the Circus. There will be lots of pool time. Actually, there will be lots of pool time after school goes back into session as our pool is open through September. I digress.
We will play.
And then we will prepare for the next chapters: Tee Ball, part 2; Football Season; Halloween; the holiday season; skiing; winter...
Well, a good chunk of our time has been spent at the pool. We don't go until late in the day, but there is still plenty of time to get some sun and exercise after I get home from work! Boy Pop has been in heaven! He is truly a water baby (sometimes I think he must have a set of gills somewhere!).
I had these lofty plans of going down the road to Sea World or Six Flags Fiesta Texas, or to a water park this summer, but that stuff never really materialized, unfortunately. To be honest, we haven't really missed out on anything by not going. We'll wait until the weather cools... In NOVEMBER!
I have to say that this has been the summer of weekday and weekend commitments, too... There has been something we've ABSOLUTELY had to attend every single week. Rarely has there been an open weekend, either. It's been crazy and fun and full of unique memories. I mean, not many people can say that while they were on the largest boat on Lake Travis, they saw a totally nude girl skipping around on a bachelor party houseboat? Hey, it was a new experience for me at least.
As we enter August, a new phase of the year begins... Football Season! My Longhorns have started practice, as have the Dallas Cowboys. We are very happy here in the Pop household that HBO's Hard Knocks has returned to the Cowboy training camp this year! Our Longhorn tickets have been purchased, the parking has been secured, and our friends have retained their Miller and XX beer sponsorships for their tailgate. We seem to be all set for August 30th (the first game) except...
The Dr and Mrs are headed to Vegas for Labor Day weekend! I love being in Vegas on this particular weekend... I could spend hours in the sports book watching the games! There is just so much excitement and good-natured school spirit there. Too much fun!
As the days speed by, I am reminded that we are almost two-thirds of the way through 2008. I cannot believe it! Soon Boy Pop will be 5. Let me say that again. He will be 5. He is such a boy. I still get glimpses into the baby he was every now and then, but that part of him is fading away as he grows into this amazing little person. I've been a little down lately, and in on and off cranky moods. I think I am grieving a little. I do not want to let go of that sweet little toddler and preschooler. I hate that I have missed things by not being with him during the day. I grieve for time that I've wasted by not playing Transformers or Star Wars (Light "saver" fights made with construction paper "savers"). The other day, as I was about to head out the door to the office, he came downstairs. He had been a little under the weather, so I went into his playroom to talk to him a bit before I had to go.
"Mommy, will you stay home with me today?" Damn near broke my heart! I went straight to my computer, logged in, and let my manager know I would not be at work.
So summer is quickly coming to an end (officially, yes, unofficially, we'll still have swimming weather until October). To me summer is such a relaxed time, a time to take a break from business as usual. Work is more casual. Chores are less important. Heavy and complicated meals fall by the wayside for salads and wraps. Frozen drinks prevail (to cool off, I swear!). There's tanned skin and no school zones to battle. No homework and it's okay to stay up a little later during the week. I'm not ready for that to end.
The next week and a half will be spent enjoying and appreciating the final days before we have to be a little more "buttoned up" and on-time. There will be a birthday party and a trip to the Circus. There will be lots of pool time. Actually, there will be lots of pool time after school goes back into session as our pool is open through September. I digress.
We will play.
And then we will prepare for the next chapters: Tee Ball, part 2; Football Season; Halloween; the holiday season; skiing; winter...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Almost the Dog Days...
Here it is, July 22nd. The month is winding down, and with it, summer. We have one year left of no school before Boy Pop enters kindergarten officially. We're debating having him complete a year of private kindergarten this year in preparation for him to be full-on immersed in elementary school, but to tell you the truth, I am not so sure I want it to happen. I do not want to have to be responsible for homework yet. I don't want him to have the pressure of school yet, either. And from what I hear about elementary school these days, it is definitely pressure-filled.
The official "dog days of summer" don't start until August, but that is 9 days away. Before I know it, I'll be planning Boy Pop's 5th birthday. I do not know where the time has gone, but I do know that we haven't completed much on my personal summer "to-do" fun list... We definitely need to get on that and fast!
Every year goes by just a little bit faster. I don't know why time seems to do this, but I want it to stop. I want to hit the pause button for a little while and enjoy this time a little bit more. My son is at an awesome age and Dr Pop and I are enjoying him and each other more than ever. I'm not ready to move ahead just yet.
Whiney, whiney, whine, whine, whine.
Yeah, I get it. But! I'm just not ready yet! But I know that I'd better batten down the hatches and get good and damn well ready, though, because time does indeed march on. It is marching ever-forward.
I'm considering yet another career change. Maybe. I'm very happy to be employed in the current market, but there are some goals that I have that cannot be fulfilled in my current position. I'm giving myself a year to figure this out. I want to have the opportunity to work Boy Pop's school hours and also spend some time writing real stuff instead of blog stuff. I know one thing that will make that possible, but I'm not sure I'm ready to 1) take the pay cut or 2) deal with teenagers on a daily basis, so that idea is not at the forefront right yet. I do know that I would like to do something different. But I am in a relatively comfortable zone here, so heck. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I'm just blathering.
Whining and blathering.
I need to get off my ass and get some summer family excursions planned STAT! (See what I did there? I circled back to the initial post topic.)
So for now, I'll leave you with some final pictures from the first part of the summer...
Fun dinner with friends in June.
The official "dog days of summer" don't start until August, but that is 9 days away. Before I know it, I'll be planning Boy Pop's 5th birthday. I do not know where the time has gone, but I do know that we haven't completed much on my personal summer "to-do" fun list... We definitely need to get on that and fast!
Every year goes by just a little bit faster. I don't know why time seems to do this, but I want it to stop. I want to hit the pause button for a little while and enjoy this time a little bit more. My son is at an awesome age and Dr Pop and I are enjoying him and each other more than ever. I'm not ready to move ahead just yet.
Whiney, whiney, whine, whine, whine.
Yeah, I get it. But! I'm just not ready yet! But I know that I'd better batten down the hatches and get good and damn well ready, though, because time does indeed march on. It is marching ever-forward.
I'm considering yet another career change. Maybe. I'm very happy to be employed in the current market, but there are some goals that I have that cannot be fulfilled in my current position. I'm giving myself a year to figure this out. I want to have the opportunity to work Boy Pop's school hours and also spend some time writing real stuff instead of blog stuff. I know one thing that will make that possible, but I'm not sure I'm ready to 1) take the pay cut or 2) deal with teenagers on a daily basis, so that idea is not at the forefront right yet. I do know that I would like to do something different. But I am in a relatively comfortable zone here, so heck. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I'm just blathering.
Whining and blathering.
I need to get off my ass and get some summer family excursions planned STAT! (See what I did there? I circled back to the initial post topic.)
So for now, I'll leave you with some final pictures from the first part of the summer...
Fun dinner with friends in June.
Engagement party.
Birthday card and present opening.
Official birthday dinner...
Monday, July 07, 2008
Nothing Good Can Come of It...
Several years ago, I used to rant to myself all the time. Sometimes I'd write it down on paper, sometimes I'd write a draft blog, sometimes I'd email myself. I had a lot of pain and quite a bit of anger boiling inside me and the only the thing that kept me sane was getting the rant out and moving on. I said a lot of things that I didn't truly mean in those rants. And I said a lot of things that I did sort of mean at that specific moment in time.
When I would get upset by someone in my life, instead of venting everything at them, I would let the words flow through my fingertips. That way, I got out what I needed to get out, but I didn't say things out loud that could not be taken back. Of course, I never gave a single thought to what it would mean if someone happened to see the words.
During that time, I would also look for the blogs of others who were in a worse place emotionally that I was (to make myself feel better). I found several that fit the bill. Strangely enough, reading stuff like that really made me put things into perspective and realize that writing things like that down was hurtful and potentially devastating to the person it was about. And while it can feel good to vent sometimes, if the subjects of MY venting ever saw my emotional writing, they could be hurt by it.
So for the same reason I quit going to "Mothers" groups (too much bitching about husbands), I stopped reading the blogs.
I also stopped the ranting and promptly forgot all about it. Not too long ago, I rediscovered several rants while going through my drafts and re-reading that rawness made me start to shake. Uncontrollably. It was devastating for ME to read how angry I was back then, so I cannot imagine how someone else might feel if they read it.
I believe that we all have bad days. I believe that we all have a deepness to us. I believe that we all hurt at one point or another in our lives. It is easy to appear to have a perfect life when things are going well. It is easy to look happy. It is easy to be happy. But I would not be the person I am today had I not gone through the sadness and the pain. Had I not made the choices I made. Had I not taken a deeper look at my actions and how they could be a root cause for what was going on in my life at the time.
I accepted fault for what was my fault. I forgave what needed to be forgiven. And I moved forward.
Nothing good can come of those words from so long ago. So even though I have some curiosity for finding the rest of my rants, I'm doing a major delete job over the coming days.
I love what my life has become and I love my husband, son, family, and friends. I would never deliberately hurt them or make them think otherwise.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Type, type, type... Delete, delete, delete
In the past week, I've written long, drawn-out tomes on the following topics:
Bret Michaels
Reality TV
Britney Spears
Voting
Politics
Marriage
Work
Fitness
Junk food
Travel
Vacations
Not one of the above was fit to post and now I'm suffering from writer's cramp (my brain is cramping under the pressure I've put upon myself to write something, ANYTHING! worth reading). So I will just be random. In other words, THIS WILL BE A NORMAL POST!
I spend way too much time focusing on the latest celebrity antics as evidenced by an email my husband sent me this morning to tell me that the fed cut the interest rates... I thought to myself, "Well yeah, but Britney showed up for a custody hearing! So. Much. More. Important."
Dr Pop sent me a quiz yesterday to find out who I match up with politically. Since it was sent to him by my "hated enemy" I will not post that exact link here. Here's essentially the same link, but I found it on a different affiliate website. ;-) http://ktbc.4wmt.com/cmm/
I pretty much know where my vote is going in the Primary election and, given various contingencies, I have a top 4 list of the candidates who will get my vote in November. The fact that I have been able to find so many options is telling. Basically, no one really stands out as outstanding to me this year. Quite a few stand out as terrible choices, but no one rises to the top. What a sad, sad election year.
Oh. You saw that thing I said about having an enemy. I don't. Not really. There are a few people whose company I don't go out and seek, though. And a few people out there who would not see me cry if karma catches up to them. But no enemies per se. I just choose for my personal life to seek out people who hold the same things I hold dear...
You don't see much political ranting on here because I'm mostly, "Don't ask, don't tell." I'd rather not know where you lean because that way we won't be drawn into a heated war of words resulting in the end of a great acquaintance. I like to agree to disagree on most things and you won't really see me rear up until you start extolling the virtues of abortion at will, government mandated socialism, and higher taxes.
I'm still kind of cranky. I don't know what's wrong with me other than a perpetual beat-down at work that is not fun. Well that, eating junk when I know I shouldn't, and sitting on the couch or at the computer when I know I should be shakin' it with Chalene.
I never feel better than when I am working out. Gotta love those endorphins! And working out and eating right helps get those nasty fast-food toxins right out of my system. You'd think I'd "get" it by now. Intellectually, I do get it. It's in practice where I slack off. But we will be planning our summer vacation soon, and the last thing I want is to be starving myself before we go so that I can look just right in my sundresses.
Maybe we can discuss trainwreck reality TV at a later date. I need to go read the Wall Street Journal or something!
Bret Michaels
Reality TV
Britney Spears
Voting
Politics
Marriage
Work
Fitness
Junk food
Travel
Vacations
Not one of the above was fit to post and now I'm suffering from writer's cramp (my brain is cramping under the pressure I've put upon myself to write something, ANYTHING! worth reading). So I will just be random. In other words, THIS WILL BE A NORMAL POST!
I spend way too much time focusing on the latest celebrity antics as evidenced by an email my husband sent me this morning to tell me that the fed cut the interest rates... I thought to myself, "Well yeah, but Britney showed up for a custody hearing! So. Much. More. Important."
Dr Pop sent me a quiz yesterday to find out who I match up with politically. Since it was sent to him by my "hated enemy" I will not post that exact link here. Here's essentially the same link, but I found it on a different affiliate website. ;-) http://ktbc.4wmt.com/cmm/
I pretty much know where my vote is going in the Primary election and, given various contingencies, I have a top 4 list of the candidates who will get my vote in November. The fact that I have been able to find so many options is telling. Basically, no one really stands out as outstanding to me this year. Quite a few stand out as terrible choices, but no one rises to the top. What a sad, sad election year.
Oh. You saw that thing I said about having an enemy. I don't. Not really. There are a few people whose company I don't go out and seek, though. And a few people out there who would not see me cry if karma catches up to them. But no enemies per se. I just choose for my personal life to seek out people who hold the same things I hold dear...
You don't see much political ranting on here because I'm mostly, "Don't ask, don't tell." I'd rather not know where you lean because that way we won't be drawn into a heated war of words resulting in the end of a great acquaintance. I like to agree to disagree on most things and you won't really see me rear up until you start extolling the virtues of abortion at will, government mandated socialism, and higher taxes.
I'm still kind of cranky. I don't know what's wrong with me other than a perpetual beat-down at work that is not fun. Well that, eating junk when I know I shouldn't, and sitting on the couch or at the computer when I know I should be shakin' it with Chalene.
I never feel better than when I am working out. Gotta love those endorphins! And working out and eating right helps get those nasty fast-food toxins right out of my system. You'd think I'd "get" it by now. Intellectually, I do get it. It's in practice where I slack off. But we will be planning our summer vacation soon, and the last thing I want is to be starving myself before we go so that I can look just right in my sundresses.
Maybe we can discuss trainwreck reality TV at a later date. I need to go read the Wall Street Journal or something!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Thoughts on Marriage
Wow. Just. Wow.
READ THIS
This rivals Dr. Laura in describing the work that is involved in maintaining a marriage and even a happy life. For example: Finding your own hobbies, understand that you cannot change people, life is not a fairy tale, marriage is work, etc.
What I find the most ironic, with this, though, is the fact that Violent Acres has said before that she does not particularly care for Dr. L.
There's another lesson here about how there's something good to learn from everyone, but it takes away from the message of the post... Namely, people need to wipe away the rose-colored film from their glasses and be, well, reasonable in order to maintain a happy and healthy marriage.
Good job, V!
READ THIS
This rivals Dr. Laura in describing the work that is involved in maintaining a marriage and even a happy life. For example: Finding your own hobbies, understand that you cannot change people, life is not a fairy tale, marriage is work, etc.
What I find the most ironic, with this, though, is the fact that Violent Acres has said before that she does not particularly care for Dr. L.
There's another lesson here about how there's something good to learn from everyone, but it takes away from the message of the post... Namely, people need to wipe away the rose-colored film from their glasses and be, well, reasonable in order to maintain a happy and healthy marriage.
Good job, V!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Insane with the "Busy-ness"
Oh people, people, people!
Because I am incredibly disorganized with dates, times, and things to do, I over-compensate by making lists. I now am in posession of a legal pad full of lists and revised lists and a run down of the next two and a half months... I can only say, "holy shit!" I'm totally f-ed. What was I thinking?
I don't know how those who have more than one child to schedule do it! Especially if you work full time.
This is what went through my head last night, while trying to fall asleep... I need to lay off the reality shows, I think...
So the winner of Big Brother gets $500,000. Let's see, that minus 40% in taxes is $300,000. I'll divide it into thirds. We put $100 grand immediately into some sort of retirement/annuity/long-term savings deal. The next $100 grand gets spent on outstanding debt, bills, car payments, and regular savings. The final $100 grand gets splurged a little and then put aside for the household bills. There, that should do it. Not as much of a windfall as I'd like to come into, but it will work. I'm not greedy. Now I just have to convince Dr Pop AND win a free and clear $300K. There's no way. Well maybe. I don't know. What if we won the lottery last night? That would be awesome! I could definitely convince him if we won the jackpot! What time is it? Oh crap. I need to get to sleep. So. Back to the $300k...
Yeah. I know. Sad. And Scary.
Because I am incredibly disorganized with dates, times, and things to do, I over-compensate by making lists. I now am in posession of a legal pad full of lists and revised lists and a run down of the next two and a half months... I can only say, "holy shit!" I'm totally f-ed. What was I thinking?
I don't know how those who have more than one child to schedule do it! Especially if you work full time.
This is what went through my head last night, while trying to fall asleep... I need to lay off the reality shows, I think...
So the winner of Big Brother gets $500,000. Let's see, that minus 40% in taxes is $300,000. I'll divide it into thirds. We put $100 grand immediately into some sort of retirement/annuity/long-term savings deal. The next $100 grand gets spent on outstanding debt, bills, car payments, and regular savings. The final $100 grand gets splurged a little and then put aside for the household bills. There, that should do it. Not as much of a windfall as I'd like to come into, but it will work. I'm not greedy. Now I just have to convince Dr Pop AND win a free and clear $300K. There's no way. Well maybe. I don't know. What if we won the lottery last night? That would be awesome! I could definitely convince him if we won the jackpot! What time is it? Oh crap. I need to get to sleep. So. Back to the $300k...
Yeah. I know. Sad. And Scary.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Opening Weekend
This week, Dr Pop had an overnight in Dallas. His meetings went well and while he was gone, I did… Wait for it… Laundry! There is something about Dr Pop being away that makes me insane for the ole laundry. It’s a sickness, really. But we have clean clothes. So it’s a good thing.
I was scheduled to have today off, but decided to go ahead and not burn a vacation day since we don’t have a trip planned. I am taking Tuesday off, though. I’m telling you, I need it! I don’t know if I’m burned out or what, but I’ve been oversleeping and generally bad-tempered and stressed out all the time. I need a break!
I was scheduled to have today off, but decided to go ahead and not burn a vacation day since we don’t have a trip planned. I am taking Tuesday off, though. I’m telling you, I need it! I don’t know if I’m burned out or what, but I’ve been oversleeping and generally bad-tempered and stressed out all the time. I need a break!
Tomorrow, Dr Pop, Boy Pop, and I will be heading down to the I-35/MLK area of Austin for The University of Texas Longhorn home opener! Boy Pop will be attending his first ever UT game! I cannot tell you how excited I am! Boy has been to some tailgates before, but never a game. We get to change that! And we’re bringing Dr Pop’s dad, too.As I was drying my hair this morning, I looked in the mirror at the UT shirt I had decided to wear today. You know, I love college football and most football in general. Some women don’t. But most of the women who were born and raised in Texas cannot get through their formative years without at least some basic understanding and appreciation of the game. Me? I grew up the daughter of a west Texas high school football coach. I spent my earliest years going to Friday night games, riding the cheerleader bus with my mom, the cheerleader sponsor. After the game, if it was a home game, all the coaches and their families gathered in the Home Ec room at the high school and ate “thumbprint” cookies and brownies. To be honest, I was in it for the cookies.
Later on, I was into football games as social events. Everyone went to the games. That’s where you met your friends before Friday night slumber parties in middle school. That’s where you found out about where the weekend’s illicit parties were happening in high school. The games were about socializing and I’m sad to say that I really didn’t care much about the game being played on the field as I was way too into the games being played in the stands.
When I was a sophomore in high school, my brother was a freshman at UT. It was this year that I was really introduced to fandom. I went to my first UT game as a sophomore. It was the parent’s weekend game down in Austin. And then, the following year, I was introduced to Texas/OU weekend in Dallas. My love for UT was cemented that weekend at the Texas State Fair and the Cotton Bowl.
Fast forward to college. Football was still a social event, with a competition among my fellow dorm-mates (all-girl, all-sorority) for the best dates to the games. Football games were still all about the dates, the parties, the socializing. They were about hiding a Jim Beam traveler in your purse and a flask of vodka in your pants. They were about sneaking into the alumni center and buying beer at halftime.It was not until my senior year in college that I started watching the games. And watch I did. I became a student. And in the subsequent years, I listened, I watched, I learned. I joined fan sites and got on mailing lists. I was able to hold intelligent conversations about the 4-3 vs. the 3-4 defense. I screamed and yelled and stood up most of the game to show my support (whether I was at home or at the game in person).
One year I went to every single game but one. Not just home games, all games. I became a “hardcore” tailgater and spent Friday afternoons in my car circling the state lots until the whistle blew so I could claim our spot. Waller Creek by the bridge at 18th and San Jacinto, if you’re interested. Dr Pop was introduced to my rabid fan ways the following year. Although my life has changed drastically in recent years, the spot is still there, and I will see my old friends this evening as they set up the tailgate as usual. The crowd has changed, too, but there will be many familiar faces. And then tomorrow, my son will be getting his first real taste of a college football game in Austin, Texas. I have a feeling that it will be all about the cookies for him. But the love will come. It’s in his blood.
To all fans of college football, the countdown has concluded. Raise your beer, Beam and Coke, sausage wrap, or whatever you choose to enjoy with your game, and celebrate!And HOOK ‘EM HORNS!!!!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Lists
I always feel as though I’m forgetting something.
Seriously. I’m a major list-maker. I have notebooks upon notebooks full of things to do… Some things are simple and placed on the list just so that I can scratch it off and say, “See? I accomplished something today!” and others stay on the list perpetually (i.e. laundry, organize this or that, etc.). It seems lately, though, that no matter how much I include on the list, I always feel as though I’ve forgotten something or that it is incomplete.
Probably the main reason that I feel this way is that I have had three things that are semi on the list, but not quite written down, that are hanging over my head. So, world-wide-web, it’s confession-time:
1) We traded in Dr Pop’s car a year and a half early and I didn’t want to tell my folks because my mom tends to get all judgmental over how we spend our money. Seriously. She cannot bring herself to appear excited or happy about anything fun or good that happens to us. She has her own opinion on what we should be doing and if she doesn't like our choice, she goes all silent and judge-y.
2) Dr Pop will not be attending my grandfather’s birthday/family reunion on Saturday because it is his own mother’s 60th birthday. I know my mom will be pissed off, so I’ve put off telling her, but now we are down to the wire. Plane tickets and hotel reservations are involved, so I really need to bite the bullet.
3) Dr Pop’s birthday is in less than three weeks… A) No gift has been decided upon, but a HUGE thanks to Violet (and congrats, too, beautiful ring!!!) for suggesting the “experience” deal. B) No celebration has been decided upon, either (Big party, little party, no party, Vegas, Dallas, home???).
So that’s the list. I confessed the car last night (WTF? “Confessed”?? Like we did something bad or something.). I’ll confess the change in travel plans today or tomorrow (via email, methinks, as bad news is much easier to deliver without a voice at the other end of the line), and we will nail down Dr Pop’s birthday arrangements this week (if all goes well).
P.S. I totally get that as a 33-year-old wife and mother that this post has me coming across as afraid of my mother. Unless you’ve walked an hour in my shoes, you cannot judge me.
P.P.S. It’s not “fear” per se as much as it is I detest her reactions and therefore only try to get positive reactions out of her. Ask Dr Pop, though, I’ve become much better at telling the woman “no” from time to time.
P.P.P.S. I was raised on the “I’m disappointed” speech. Both my parents have this way of making me feel like total shit if I dare disappoint them.
P.P.P.P.S. Yes. I have issues. Who doesn’t?
P.P.P.P.P.S. But isn't the car cool?
Seriously. I’m a major list-maker. I have notebooks upon notebooks full of things to do… Some things are simple and placed on the list just so that I can scratch it off and say, “See? I accomplished something today!” and others stay on the list perpetually (i.e. laundry, organize this or that, etc.). It seems lately, though, that no matter how much I include on the list, I always feel as though I’ve forgotten something or that it is incomplete.
Probably the main reason that I feel this way is that I have had three things that are semi on the list, but not quite written down, that are hanging over my head. So, world-wide-web, it’s confession-time:
1) We traded in Dr Pop’s car a year and a half early and I didn’t want to tell my folks because my mom tends to get all judgmental over how we spend our money. Seriously. She cannot bring herself to appear excited or happy about anything fun or good that happens to us. She has her own opinion on what we should be doing and if she doesn't like our choice, she goes all silent and judge-y.
2) Dr Pop will not be attending my grandfather’s birthday/family reunion on Saturday because it is his own mother’s 60th birthday. I know my mom will be pissed off, so I’ve put off telling her, but now we are down to the wire. Plane tickets and hotel reservations are involved, so I really need to bite the bullet.
3) Dr Pop’s birthday is in less than three weeks… A) No gift has been decided upon, but a HUGE thanks to Violet (and congrats, too, beautiful ring!!!) for suggesting the “experience” deal. B) No celebration has been decided upon, either (Big party, little party, no party, Vegas, Dallas, home???).
So that’s the list. I confessed the car last night (WTF? “Confessed”?? Like we did something bad or something.). I’ll confess the change in travel plans today or tomorrow (via email, methinks, as bad news is much easier to deliver without a voice at the other end of the line), and we will nail down Dr Pop’s birthday arrangements this week (if all goes well).
P.S. I totally get that as a 33-year-old wife and mother that this post has me coming across as afraid of my mother. Unless you’ve walked an hour in my shoes, you cannot judge me.
P.P.S. It’s not “fear” per se as much as it is I detest her reactions and therefore only try to get positive reactions out of her. Ask Dr Pop, though, I’ve become much better at telling the woman “no” from time to time.
P.P.P.S. I was raised on the “I’m disappointed” speech. Both my parents have this way of making me feel like total shit if I dare disappoint them.
P.P.P.P.S. Yes. I have issues. Who doesn’t?
P.P.P.P.P.S. But isn't the car cool?
And the driver isn't bad, either! ;-) 
Very cool, indeed...
*Yes, this is very, very sad and pathetic, Dr Pop... ;-)
Monday, April 30, 2007
Random Ramblings*
This will be quite a crazy week at work… It’s the last one of the quarter, so everybody’s gone insane.
I think one of my friends is pissed off at me, but I don’t know for sure. I hope she was surprised on Friday. I wish we could have been there, but we had another commitment that we’d said yes to about a month and a half ago.
Our second-annual fight night blow out is the same night as another friend’s bachelorette party. The day the fight was announced (six, seven months ago?), Dr Pop and I started planning. Unfortunately, the friend chose that weekend for her party out of town, too. I simply cannot make it to both and I have to be the hostess at my own house. We’re laid back at the Pop Casa, and certain folks have open invitations… But if we know that there is no way in hell you’d say yes, we’re not going to send out a formal invite. Why make you go through the trouble of saying no?
Why do I always feel the need to go overboard to explain myself? I want everybody to be happy and that is typically impossible to do. I always have good intentions, though, and people who really know me, know this much about me.
My knees got sunburned yesterday while at the local triple-A baseball game. I forgot how much fun those games are! Boy Pop even got a baseball thrown to him. We had a great time on the hottest day of the year. And then we all crashed.
I got a pretty new phone. It is gold. And girly.
I hope I get a pretty new job really soon. We’ll see…
Seriously? Is there any better product than Smith’s Rosebud Salve? If there is, I want to know about it, because it must be amazing!
I need a maid. In the worst way. Dr Pop and I cannot continue to keep up with our dirt.
Oh, and I went on a total junk food bender starting Friday. I ate hot pockets and hot dogs and nachos and questionable melted cheese product and cotton candy and cracker jacks and popcorn and more hot dogs and pizza and wine and sausage and hash browns and biscuits... And I didn’t work out even a tiny bit! I’m back on the wagon today.
25 days left until I’m on my way to the beach!
I wish people would really get over themselves… Maybe I should lead by example here and get over myself first. ;-)
Did designers get hit with ugly inspiration this season? Poufy sleeves, empire waist dresses, clunky shoes, high-waisted pants... I'm finally getting a shape I want to show off and all the clothes that are "in" this season are destined to cover me up. And not in a flattering way. Actually, I cannot image most of those styles being flattering on anyone.
*With apologies to a certain someone who used to have a blog by that name. :)
I think one of my friends is pissed off at me, but I don’t know for sure. I hope she was surprised on Friday. I wish we could have been there, but we had another commitment that we’d said yes to about a month and a half ago.
Our second-annual fight night blow out is the same night as another friend’s bachelorette party. The day the fight was announced (six, seven months ago?), Dr Pop and I started planning. Unfortunately, the friend chose that weekend for her party out of town, too. I simply cannot make it to both and I have to be the hostess at my own house. We’re laid back at the Pop Casa, and certain folks have open invitations… But if we know that there is no way in hell you’d say yes, we’re not going to send out a formal invite. Why make you go through the trouble of saying no?
Why do I always feel the need to go overboard to explain myself? I want everybody to be happy and that is typically impossible to do. I always have good intentions, though, and people who really know me, know this much about me.
My knees got sunburned yesterday while at the local triple-A baseball game. I forgot how much fun those games are! Boy Pop even got a baseball thrown to him. We had a great time on the hottest day of the year. And then we all crashed.
I got a pretty new phone. It is gold. And girly.
I hope I get a pretty new job really soon. We’ll see…
Seriously? Is there any better product than Smith’s Rosebud Salve? If there is, I want to know about it, because it must be amazing!
I need a maid. In the worst way. Dr Pop and I cannot continue to keep up with our dirt.
Oh, and I went on a total junk food bender starting Friday. I ate hot pockets and hot dogs and nachos and questionable melted cheese product and cotton candy and cracker jacks and popcorn and more hot dogs and pizza and wine and sausage and hash browns and biscuits... And I didn’t work out even a tiny bit! I’m back on the wagon today.
25 days left until I’m on my way to the beach!
I wish people would really get over themselves… Maybe I should lead by example here and get over myself first. ;-)
Did designers get hit with ugly inspiration this season? Poufy sleeves, empire waist dresses, clunky shoes, high-waisted pants... I'm finally getting a shape I want to show off and all the clothes that are "in" this season are destined to cover me up. And not in a flattering way. Actually, I cannot image most of those styles being flattering on anyone.
*With apologies to a certain someone who used to have a blog by that name. :)
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Hardest Trip Yet
There were tears in my eyes as I said goodbye to Dr Pop on Monday afternoon as he headed for a series of meetings out of town, not to return until this evening. I seriously hate it when he goes out of town for more than just a day. It’s like there’s a gaping hole in my life when he’s gone, even if most of our conversations go something like this:
Me: What do you want for dinner?
Dr Pop: Whatever. I don’t know.
Me: Want me to go to the store?
Dr Pop: If you want.
Me: Well let’s think about it and then decide
Several hours and many TV shows later…
Dr Pop: I thought you were going to the store…
Yes, we’re very intellectual folks down here. Whenever he’s gone, I usually have a hard time falling asleep. I end up smooshing all of his pillows around me in the middle of the bed so that I can be surrounded. Weird, I know. Especially since I don’t like to be crowded. I miss his leg touching mine and I miss punching him because his light snoring is keeping me up.
I end up doing laundry until well into the night and this trip was no different. There are no dirty clothes. Except for the sheets. Which need to be changed. But I can’t do that by myself. Because we need to flip the mattress.
This time around, though, I got to experience something I’d never experienced before… The stomach flu. By myself. Except for the three year old who was depending on me for everything. But I’m slowly getting better and finally made it back to work today. And Little Pop was so good that last night I bought him a prize at Wal-Mart (there’s a new Diego movie out). I have the sweetest kid! And I really, really enjoyed him these past two days. Yesterday morning, I awoke to the gentle snores of my little one as he snuggled next to me. Awesome moment. We’ve taken our time the past three mornings, and not rushed out the door. In fact, I overslept this morning, my first day back to work, and still we were just fine and stress-free.
Me: What do you want for dinner?
Dr Pop: Whatever. I don’t know.
Me: Want me to go to the store?
Dr Pop: If you want.
Me: Well let’s think about it and then decide
Several hours and many TV shows later…
Dr Pop: I thought you were going to the store…
Yes, we’re very intellectual folks down here. Whenever he’s gone, I usually have a hard time falling asleep. I end up smooshing all of his pillows around me in the middle of the bed so that I can be surrounded. Weird, I know. Especially since I don’t like to be crowded. I miss his leg touching mine and I miss punching him because his light snoring is keeping me up.
I end up doing laundry until well into the night and this trip was no different. There are no dirty clothes. Except for the sheets. Which need to be changed. But I can’t do that by myself. Because we need to flip the mattress.
This time around, though, I got to experience something I’d never experienced before… The stomach flu. By myself. Except for the three year old who was depending on me for everything. But I’m slowly getting better and finally made it back to work today. And Little Pop was so good that last night I bought him a prize at Wal-Mart (there’s a new Diego movie out). I have the sweetest kid! And I really, really enjoyed him these past two days. Yesterday morning, I awoke to the gentle snores of my little one as he snuggled next to me. Awesome moment. We’ve taken our time the past three mornings, and not rushed out the door. In fact, I overslept this morning, my first day back to work, and still we were just fine and stress-free.
When Little Pop was younger and I stayed at home, it seemed that I never got sick. I don’t know how I managed it, but it just never happened. I think I’m making up for lost time or something, but I’ve been getting sick with a little more frequency. And all the time, Dr Pop has been there, helping, taking over all of the household duties (the things I hate to do, but hate letting go of). And I never appreciated all the little things he’s done for me while I’m sick until this time, when he couldn’t be there.
Tonight I’ll have dinner waiting (a chicken slow cooked in the crock pot all day) as a thank you. And all of his clothes will be clean. :)
Monday, March 05, 2007
This Will Be Long and Meandering
Like a river…
About four years ago, an acquaintance of mine began a blog. I had no idea what a blog was or how he got one, but I did read it. I actually link to it today… The LM Blog. Being the techno-idiot that I was and still am, I was intrigued and really wanted to know how to get my own site, but I was afraid that A) it would cost money I didn’t have, and B) it would be too difficult.
A couple of years later, I found a couple of blogs that changed my world. After my initial shock, I realized that there was no secret to having my very own website and created one. I finally had the motivation to eek out my own little blip on the internet and spew out my thoughts and feelings.
Two years, a profile change, and a couple of name changes later, I’m here. MrsPop007. For two years, I’ve posted rants and raves, long, thought-out posts, little blurbs, and painted a fairly rosy portrait of my life. For two years, I’ve told the world and no one at the same time how much I love my husband and son. I’ve also written scores of love letters to my husband and son via these posts.
I also read a bunch. I started out reading two or three blogs, then, through the “next blog” feature, I found Emily, through her I found Dooce, and then just through trial and error, I found a score of amazing and wonderful women who have the ability to put into words a lot of what I am feeling from day to day. I honestly have begun getting more out of the reading what they write every day than I do from my own writing.
I’m 33 years old. I’m a wife and a mother. I have a full time job and a golden retriever and a cat. I give myself the gift of a lot of guilt about the choices I make every day as to whether I am making the right ones or the wrong ones for my family and for myself. I agonize constantly over making everyone around me happy and in trying to do that, end up disappointing the people who matter most to me. And I have a blog. This is who I am.
I also dream of being a published author. I read Jen Lancaster’s book, found her blog, and was inspired to do it myself. I read about Karyn Bosnak (“Pretty in the City”) and am totally jealous that she was able to find a creative way to pay her bills. I read Dooce and dream of this website someday supporting MY family the way she supports hers. And I’m overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy. How could I ever even compete? How CAN I ever compete? Do I even WANT to compete? And I don’t want to “compete” per se. I want to hang with them.
I dream of being invited to the conferences and book tours. I dream of the book deal. But the reality is that I’m one of about a million others and I really have absolutely nothing new to say to the world. My life is interesting to me most of the time, but it really isn’t that amazing. I’m doing what the majority of American women are doing each day. I wake up, get dressed, go to work, pick up my son, go home, play, sometimes cook dinner, but most of the time I don’t, do laundry, make a half-assed effort at wiping down the counters and loading the dishwasher, and watch TV. And when I get a spare minute or two, I post a random picture and a few words on this blog. That’s it.
So now I’m at a crossroads. I’ve been at this for over two years now and I just don’t know what to say anymore. I’ve got my fun little site with a cute name where I talk about clothes and makeup and skincare, but even that isn’t unique. It’s just copy-catted, regurgitated fluff. I’ve never written anything that I wouldn’t say directly to those near and dear to me and I’ve never written anything about the particulars of my job. I have written some things that are embarrassing to me, but those of you out there who have known me my whole life know that I’m all about embarrassing myself anyway.
Last week, I took down most of my archives and changed the view to one day at a time. I left a few posts up (mostly the ones with comments because I don’t want to lose those), but the rest are sitting as drafts, waiting for me to go through them and do something. I just don’t know what to do with them, though. Mostly, this post is representative of the past two years of writing (307 total posts), in that it is just as meandering. I love to write. I love this process. And I love the idea that even if I can’t get it together enough to put something together worth publishing in book form, I can simply hit a button and publish it myself.
Who knows what will happen to this blog. I’ll probably continue writing as I do, to tell you the truth, because I do get an immense release by clicking that “publish” button. And we all need something like that in our lives.
About four years ago, an acquaintance of mine began a blog. I had no idea what a blog was or how he got one, but I did read it. I actually link to it today… The LM Blog. Being the techno-idiot that I was and still am, I was intrigued and really wanted to know how to get my own site, but I was afraid that A) it would cost money I didn’t have, and B) it would be too difficult.
A couple of years later, I found a couple of blogs that changed my world. After my initial shock, I realized that there was no secret to having my very own website and created one. I finally had the motivation to eek out my own little blip on the internet and spew out my thoughts and feelings.
Two years, a profile change, and a couple of name changes later, I’m here. MrsPop007. For two years, I’ve posted rants and raves, long, thought-out posts, little blurbs, and painted a fairly rosy portrait of my life. For two years, I’ve told the world and no one at the same time how much I love my husband and son. I’ve also written scores of love letters to my husband and son via these posts.
I also read a bunch. I started out reading two or three blogs, then, through the “next blog” feature, I found Emily, through her I found Dooce, and then just through trial and error, I found a score of amazing and wonderful women who have the ability to put into words a lot of what I am feeling from day to day. I honestly have begun getting more out of the reading what they write every day than I do from my own writing.
I’m 33 years old. I’m a wife and a mother. I have a full time job and a golden retriever and a cat. I give myself the gift of a lot of guilt about the choices I make every day as to whether I am making the right ones or the wrong ones for my family and for myself. I agonize constantly over making everyone around me happy and in trying to do that, end up disappointing the people who matter most to me. And I have a blog. This is who I am.
I also dream of being a published author. I read Jen Lancaster’s book, found her blog, and was inspired to do it myself. I read about Karyn Bosnak (“Pretty in the City”) and am totally jealous that she was able to find a creative way to pay her bills. I read Dooce and dream of this website someday supporting MY family the way she supports hers. And I’m overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy. How could I ever even compete? How CAN I ever compete? Do I even WANT to compete? And I don’t want to “compete” per se. I want to hang with them.
I dream of being invited to the conferences and book tours. I dream of the book deal. But the reality is that I’m one of about a million others and I really have absolutely nothing new to say to the world. My life is interesting to me most of the time, but it really isn’t that amazing. I’m doing what the majority of American women are doing each day. I wake up, get dressed, go to work, pick up my son, go home, play, sometimes cook dinner, but most of the time I don’t, do laundry, make a half-assed effort at wiping down the counters and loading the dishwasher, and watch TV. And when I get a spare minute or two, I post a random picture and a few words on this blog. That’s it.
So now I’m at a crossroads. I’ve been at this for over two years now and I just don’t know what to say anymore. I’ve got my fun little site with a cute name where I talk about clothes and makeup and skincare, but even that isn’t unique. It’s just copy-catted, regurgitated fluff. I’ve never written anything that I wouldn’t say directly to those near and dear to me and I’ve never written anything about the particulars of my job. I have written some things that are embarrassing to me, but those of you out there who have known me my whole life know that I’m all about embarrassing myself anyway.
Last week, I took down most of my archives and changed the view to one day at a time. I left a few posts up (mostly the ones with comments because I don’t want to lose those), but the rest are sitting as drafts, waiting for me to go through them and do something. I just don’t know what to do with them, though. Mostly, this post is representative of the past two years of writing (307 total posts), in that it is just as meandering. I love to write. I love this process. And I love the idea that even if I can’t get it together enough to put something together worth publishing in book form, I can simply hit a button and publish it myself.
Who knows what will happen to this blog. I’ll probably continue writing as I do, to tell you the truth, because I do get an immense release by clicking that “publish” button. And we all need something like that in our lives.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The best month?
Try month from Hell (of my own making)! There are so many reasons why this month has sucked for me, emotionally. I feel like I’ve been through the wringer and mostly of my own doing. Little insecurities have crept up, little details were missed, unspoken and sometimes unrealistic expectations went unmet, I could go on and on here.
So I was listening to Dr. Laura yesterday and she had a caller on who was extremely upset about something his wife did. Don’t get me wrong, it was horrible. But what she said to him spoke to me. Namely, “If it’s an INCIDENT, get over it. If it’s a PATTERN, get out of it.” She of course clarified her point and not all situations are the same, but her point was that if someone screws up once, shows remorse, and you want to give that person a second chance, DO it. But don’t sit around and be bitter, making the other party pay again and again. BUT, if a person is continuously doing bad things, then it’s time to get out of there.
I think I get it. I hope I get it. I have this bad habit of saying that I’m over this or over that when really I’m not. I sit on it, stew on it, lock it up (but keep that key nearby), and then from seemingly out of nowhere, it explodes to the surface. All the bitterness that I cling to comes spewing forth from my mouth and all of a sudden, life is unpleasant.
Additionally, I am really, really bad about not letting my husband in on certain expectations I have. Here’s the deal, though, I know that he does certain things and I do certain things. They’ve become our roles in the household for better or for worse. Some of my roles I don’t particularly like (dishes, for example). Some of his roles, he doesn’t particularly like, either (throwing away my half-empty stray diet coke cans comes to mind). The thing is, I’m always going to try to throw away my trash and I know that he’s going to make an effort to rinse off his plates. But sometimes we slip. Okay, most of the time, we slip up. So instead of harping on the fact that something wasn’t done (AGAIN!) that we might not have ever verbalized to the other person as something we’d like to see, maybe we should praise each other when something good happens.
Dr Pop told me last night (about Dr. Laura) that he hated “that bitch.” But he shouldn’t. That "bitch" gave me some sound and good advice. And it will make me a better person to be around. So I’ll still read her books and still try to implement her ideas. They may not all be relevant to our particular situation, but she has a lot of good, common-sense advice on how to live a better life and be a better person to be around.
So maybe the month of February must be chalked up as a “refresher” course and a reminder that I’m not perfect. Hoo-boy, am I ever NOT the portrait of perfection! And I sometimes forget that doing the “right” thing (Dr. Laura’s sign off each hour) isn’t always the comfortable thing or the easiest thing. And the “right” thing may not be the one that suits MY personal interests all the time. I need to focus on making sure that I am always doing the RIGHT thing for my husband and child… The RIGHT thing for my family.
Sometimes it takes a kick in the ass (figuratively, people!) to realize that some of the things you feel justified in doing aren’t RIGHT. So this might not be the month from Hell after all!
So I was listening to Dr. Laura yesterday and she had a caller on who was extremely upset about something his wife did. Don’t get me wrong, it was horrible. But what she said to him spoke to me. Namely, “If it’s an INCIDENT, get over it. If it’s a PATTERN, get out of it.” She of course clarified her point and not all situations are the same, but her point was that if someone screws up once, shows remorse, and you want to give that person a second chance, DO it. But don’t sit around and be bitter, making the other party pay again and again. BUT, if a person is continuously doing bad things, then it’s time to get out of there.
I think I get it. I hope I get it. I have this bad habit of saying that I’m over this or over that when really I’m not. I sit on it, stew on it, lock it up (but keep that key nearby), and then from seemingly out of nowhere, it explodes to the surface. All the bitterness that I cling to comes spewing forth from my mouth and all of a sudden, life is unpleasant.
Additionally, I am really, really bad about not letting my husband in on certain expectations I have. Here’s the deal, though, I know that he does certain things and I do certain things. They’ve become our roles in the household for better or for worse. Some of my roles I don’t particularly like (dishes, for example). Some of his roles, he doesn’t particularly like, either (throwing away my half-empty stray diet coke cans comes to mind). The thing is, I’m always going to try to throw away my trash and I know that he’s going to make an effort to rinse off his plates. But sometimes we slip. Okay, most of the time, we slip up. So instead of harping on the fact that something wasn’t done (AGAIN!) that we might not have ever verbalized to the other person as something we’d like to see, maybe we should praise each other when something good happens.
Dr Pop told me last night (about Dr. Laura) that he hated “that bitch.” But he shouldn’t. That "bitch" gave me some sound and good advice. And it will make me a better person to be around. So I’ll still read her books and still try to implement her ideas. They may not all be relevant to our particular situation, but she has a lot of good, common-sense advice on how to live a better life and be a better person to be around.
So maybe the month of February must be chalked up as a “refresher” course and a reminder that I’m not perfect. Hoo-boy, am I ever NOT the portrait of perfection! And I sometimes forget that doing the “right” thing (Dr. Laura’s sign off each hour) isn’t always the comfortable thing or the easiest thing. And the “right” thing may not be the one that suits MY personal interests all the time. I need to focus on making sure that I am always doing the RIGHT thing for my husband and child… The RIGHT thing for my family.
Sometimes it takes a kick in the ass (figuratively, people!) to realize that some of the things you feel justified in doing aren’t RIGHT. So this might not be the month from Hell after all!
Friday, January 26, 2007
The Remote Control
The other day, at Sam's, I was looking for something to read and picked up this book (Front Porch Princess by Kathryn Springer) because I liked the title and the cover. I'm shallow that way. ;-)
A chapter in, I realized several things. Namely, that this WASN'T a trashy romance, nor was it the conventional, fluffy chick-lit I was used to reading. This was Christian chick-lit with a message. Because I have a hard time putting a well-written book down, and because the story grabbed me from the start, I continued reading, waiting for something "preachy" or off-putting.
Instead, I got a few lessons about life, and about myself.
One passage in the book particularly spoke to me. It was a brief Sunday School Lesson where the leader held up a remote control. She (and I'm paraphrasing here) brought up that it is human tendency to focus too much on the rewind and fast forward buttons, either focusing on the past and holding onto the "what if" feelings and holding onto anger, frustration, and regret OR focusing too much on the future as in "here's what I will do at some point" or "once this happens, then I'll be happy." The point is that we spend so much time either looking back or looking ahead that we don't focus on the moment at hand. Instead of looking around us and counting our blessings, we're kicking ourselves over our past mistakes or waiting for some big thing to happen that will suddenly make our lives better.
I'm guilty. Not all the time, but I'm guilty of some of that. I have so much to be thankful for in my life and in each moment, but I hold grudges. I hold onto past hurts and anger. I hold onto it much like my 3 year old holds onto his toy elephant when he sleeps at night. Or I think to myself, once I get that raise, or if we won the lottery, or if I get this new job, then everything will be perfect. Let's face it. Nothing is perfect. And by looking at things the way I have been for such a long time, the beautiful moments that I am blessed with every day get glossed over or ignored. I'm tired of that.
It doesn't matter what past hurts or poor decisions have occured in the past. If steps were taken to make amends, then that stuff simply doesn't matter. And life isn't perfect. More money or a different job might make some things easier, but you shouldn't let that affect how content you are with today. And I *am* content. I love my family. I love my life. And I'm removing the rewind and fast forward buttons on my personal remote control and focusing on "play" (figuratively and literally). What I know to be true... Yesterday happened and cannot be changed, tomorrow is inevitable and uncertain, but I'm here now and today is the day I can make new memories and touch a life (be it a stranger's, my son's, my husband's, or my own).
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
My childhood hero... I wanted to look like her, have a magic lasso and invisible airplane, and I had to have those boots!
Setting the scene:
I just walked back from the coke machine on my floor and passed by two rather large, rather burly facilities men.
Snippet of their conversation I overheard:
"That was before Lynda Carter became Wonder Woman."
Somehow, I found that humorous.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Disappearing Act and Other Deep Thoughts...
If you are a regular reader and/or commenter, you may have noticed that some of my posts have gone bye-bye… There’s a very good reason for that… MrsPop is going Feng Shui. I’m working on “clearing the clutter” and “increasing the flow of my chi” by removing some of the negative energy and shit around here.
This blog was supposed to be a running commentary/journal on my life. Sometimes, that includes the bad stuff. Sometimes it means that I must show myself in my true light, warts and all. Unfortunately, my ranting has become the focus of my writing and I don’t like it. When I type a post, I have the choice of clicking one of two buttons: Publish or Save as Draft. I really ought to use the save button more frequently.
Writing is therapeutic for me. When the day to day annoyances get to be too much, I just let my grievances spill forth from my fingertips and out into cyberspace. Trust me, it’s much better than some of the alternatives I’ve come up with in my mind. Perhaps I should take up kickboxing. That may work. ;-)
Unfortunately, my rants can be misconstrued. Somewhere along this road, I have begun focusing on all of the bad and none of the good. I am not this negative person that I sometimes appear to be online. I have been known to fly off the handle on occasion (more recently these days) and writing about it helps me to inject some humor. Think “What I should have said theater” from Saved By The Bell.
In reality, what I *should* do is not focus on all of the tiny little annoyances throughout the day… When I spilled my salad all over the stairs, I should have focused on those who did try to help instead of the ones who stared and rolled their eyes (YES. There was, indeed, eye-rolling directed at me!). When something pisses me off, I need to just take a deep breath and realize that I am allowing others to control my moods. And that’s just silly.
So, if I do nothing else in the coming year, I will turn this place (and myself) into a more positive and enjoyable thing. MORE humor. LESS ranting. I may even bring in a nice, big, leafy green plant or two. Maybe try a new design. Who knows? For now, I’m going to finish my day here at work, then go home, mix up a batch of a holiday-themed drink (pomegranate martinis, perhaps?) and toast the end of a very nice year as Dr Pop and I finish last-minute Christmas preparations.
Happy Holidays to everyone out there. MrsPop 2.0 is on its way!
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Mrs. Pop's Rules For Living
**Before I begin, I think it's imperative that though I strive to live by these rules, occasionally (okay, OFTEN) I forget. But it's a nice sentiment at any rate.**
Rules for Living:
Rules for Living:
- Never, ever cut in line. **Exception to this rule is if by cutting in line, you will avoid certain death/dismemberment/kidnapping/horrible tragedy.
- ALWAYS return the shopping cart to either the cart return or store. Walking those extra few steps won’t kill you, I promise!
- Don’t bathe yourself in perfume, cheap or expensive.
- Regret nothing… Call it the "butterfly effect" or whatever, but at any given time, in any set of circumstances, we make what we believe to be the right decision at the time. Most of our decisions are made subconciously and we are only aware of them after the fact. If it turns out that the decision you made was a fuck up, then you learn from it and the experience in turn shapes who you will be from that point forward, influencing other decisions down the road. Or, to quote Rent, "Forget regret or life is yours to miss!" Focusing on the past only serves to deplete your enjoyment of the present and future.
- If you hurt someone (intntionally or unintentionally), there are only three things you can do: Apologize, do what you can to make amends, move on.
- Treat others the way you want to be treated, no matter HOW hard it may be.
- If an opportunity presents itself for you to act like a kid again (i.e. playing in the snow, getting into a wrestling/tickle match with your significant other, color with crayons, decorating cookies, running around with your mate, kid, and dog, chasing frisbees), do it EVERY time!
- Don’t panic.
- Breathe.
- Try to find the humor in every situation.
- Don’t put on airs of importance/being better or more intellectual than you really are. If someone isn’t impressed by the REAL you, then their opinion of you is worthless.
- Don’t cheat (on taxes, on tests, on significant others, etc.).
- It is OKAY to eat dessert.
- Smile more.
And finally… - Do what you HAVE to do, so that you can do what you WANT to do (thanks for writing that in my yearbook in my jr. year, Colin!).
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Poop, Wine, and Sports Injuries...
**You should be forewarned that this post was created after two glasses of wine... I'm just sayin'...
So, Dr. Pop just informed me, whilst watching the Braves/Astros game, that he's "seen someone throw a baseball so hard his arm has snapped." I did not know that and the idea is horrifying.
Earlier this evening, as the shaked and baked pork chops were baking, and I was doing a little kitchen/mudroom clean-up, I came to the realization that my life literally revolves around poop. Cat poop. Dog poop. Child poop. My poop. Husband poop (but we won't go there other than to say thank you to the good doc for heading upstairs and turning on the exhaust. Don't think I don't know what you're doing when you go upstairs, big guy... And don't think I don't appreciate the execution).
So anyway, I'm shoveling the clumpy clumps out of the cat box to throw into the garbage as tomorrow is trash day, and I realize that I AM POOP PATROL in my household. What I'm about to say will issue an indignant reply of "Hey, I change shit explosion diapers and change the cat litter, too!" and my automatic response is, "Sure you do, bud, but who holds the record of being in the most contact with poop over the past two years, and do you REALLY want the world poop title?"
So I am scooping cat litter, not without my proper respect for the creators of clumping litter, and I flashback to the backyard a few days ago, where I selflessly shovel huge mounds of steaming, wet (it had just rained) dog shit into a little uncooperative plastic bag so that the good doctor could continue sweating his ass off via mowing the lawn with our upgraded, but still pretty crappy, lawnmower. I live to make his life easier. Actually, I was just doing as asked and trying not to make the smell worse and the lawnmower blades stick.
Then I flashed back to Booble-dooble's latest nasty diaper. Ugh! What a disaster that one was! Sorry precious. That would have been my fault (genetics or diet, it doesn't matter... this kid is doomed). For the rest of the evening, my focus has been on nothing but shit. Both figuratively and literally. And it reminded me of a post on my former blog about poopy diapers and how there was ALWAYS one waiting for me in the morning. What a way to start the day, huh? With a diaper full of SHIT.
But the thing is, shit happens. So are you going to wipe your ass, flush, hopefully spray a little air freshner and turn on the exhaust, or are you going to sit and talk and complain about it for the rest of the day? I'd rather put it all behind me. Pun intended.
So, Dr. Pop just informed me, whilst watching the Braves/Astros game, that he's "seen someone throw a baseball so hard his arm has snapped." I did not know that and the idea is horrifying.
Earlier this evening, as the shaked and baked pork chops were baking, and I was doing a little kitchen/mudroom clean-up, I came to the realization that my life literally revolves around poop. Cat poop. Dog poop. Child poop. My poop. Husband poop (but we won't go there other than to say thank you to the good doc for heading upstairs and turning on the exhaust. Don't think I don't know what you're doing when you go upstairs, big guy... And don't think I don't appreciate the execution).
So anyway, I'm shoveling the clumpy clumps out of the cat box to throw into the garbage as tomorrow is trash day, and I realize that I AM POOP PATROL in my household. What I'm about to say will issue an indignant reply of "Hey, I change shit explosion diapers and change the cat litter, too!" and my automatic response is, "Sure you do, bud, but who holds the record of being in the most contact with poop over the past two years, and do you REALLY want the world poop title?"
So I am scooping cat litter, not without my proper respect for the creators of clumping litter, and I flashback to the backyard a few days ago, where I selflessly shovel huge mounds of steaming, wet (it had just rained) dog shit into a little uncooperative plastic bag so that the good doctor could continue sweating his ass off via mowing the lawn with our upgraded, but still pretty crappy, lawnmower. I live to make his life easier. Actually, I was just doing as asked and trying not to make the smell worse and the lawnmower blades stick.
Then I flashed back to Booble-dooble's latest nasty diaper. Ugh! What a disaster that one was! Sorry precious. That would have been my fault (genetics or diet, it doesn't matter... this kid is doomed). For the rest of the evening, my focus has been on nothing but shit. Both figuratively and literally. And it reminded me of a post on my former blog about poopy diapers and how there was ALWAYS one waiting for me in the morning. What a way to start the day, huh? With a diaper full of SHIT.
But the thing is, shit happens. So are you going to wipe your ass, flush, hopefully spray a little air freshner and turn on the exhaust, or are you going to sit and talk and complain about it for the rest of the day? I'd rather put it all behind me. Pun intended.
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