Good Things

• Today is my Friday. I'm taking a personal day tomorrow, just because I need one


• Prior to my day off tomorrow, I am getting highlights and my roots touched up. Just because it needs to be done.


• I'm taking my boy with me, so he can get a haircut. His hair is too long.


• Tomorrow, I am spending the day with my hubby. The boy is going to a "Ninja Night" later in the evening, so we are going to take the opportunity to go see Paranormal Activity 3.


• Saturday, we will be going to a football game. Hooray! Tailgating!


• Also on Saturday, I will be seeing my amazing esthetician.


• The remainder of the weekend will be spent making caramel apples, finding a Halloween costume for the boy, going to the pumpkin patch, and carving a pumpkin or two.

It might be a jam-packed weekend ahead, but it is going to be wonderful!

And So The Countdown Begins

Once again, we are near the end of October and here's what we HAVEN'T done yet:

1. Picked out a pumpkin


2. Carved said pumpkin


3. Found Boy Pop's Halloween costume

Hoo-boy!

So 2011 is speeding to a close all too quickly. I foolishly believed that once Fall Ball ended, we would have some breathing time. I fear that is not to be and here's why (another numbered list):

1. Halloween is in ONE WEEK and we've yet to complete the aforementioned Halloween must-dos.


2. Boy Pop is ring-bearer in a wedding in two short weeks. I just today purchased his clothing. He had nothing. So I bought pants, a shirt, shoes, and a belt at lunch. I'm praying it all fits.


3. One week after that, Dr Pop is leaving for the better part of a week in Jersey. I don't like when he has overnight business trips. Especially those that last several days. It's too long!


4. One week after he gets back, we will most likely be hosting Thanksgiving at our house. Last year, we hosted 11 and I cooked every morsel myself. That sound you hear is the very faint sound of my patting myself on the back for that one.


5. Two weeks after Thanksgiving, we are going away for a week. It will be a fun week full of snow and Christmas and snow-related activities.


6. One week after we get back from said snow-related activities, it will be Christmas Eve.


7. Then? The last week of 2011.


8. Do you know how I plan to spend the final week of 2011?


9. At. Home. Not. Working.


10. Gotta love corporate holidays and very strategic vacation planning.

I need a nap.

Tap*Tap*Tap*

Is this thing on?

Sorry. Three months of puppy and illness and summer and travel and... I always say I need to write more, but I can't seem to manage more than 140 characters these days.

My baby will be a second grader in a few short weeks. That makes me sad. Time needs to stop!

In other news, the "puppy" will be 6 months old this Wednesday. He currently weighs 72 pounds and is gaining a couple of pounds a week minimum. And he's very energetic. He celebrated Independence Day by eating cat litter and finding a spot of mud.

Early Morning Conversation

Me: Boy Pop are you ready for a great Wednesday?
BP: Yes. And I hope you have a great day, too, Mommy!
BP: Mommy? How do you have a great day?
Me: You choose to.
BP: Oh.
Me: For me, it means that I don't let other people upset me. Oh, and a million dollar order wouldn't be bad, either.

A Visual Interpretation of My Current Feelings

As days go, this one has been a decent one. The morning went well, the sky was a little overcast, but signs pointed toward just a blue, partly cloudy sky. The school drop off was the least-eventful of the year so far. We were early and encountered no rude parents.

It was a relatively slow morning at work, too. Easy. So easy, in fact, that I spent a good deal of time working on my annual letter to Boy Pop. It's not quite ready to publish, but I have a great start.

I left at lunchtime to go order Boy Pop's birthday cake and cupcakes for his party. That done, I headed to the party supply store to stock up on massive amounts of Sponge Bob decor. It was absolutely gorgeous outside, too. Perfect weather for the first day of fall... Partly cloudy, not too hot, nice breeze.

Sometime between the bakery and the party store, I got a text from my mother asking about the dates of spring break.

She texted from Houston. From a prominent neurological movement disorder doctor's office.

Swimming in the back of my mind, being firmly pushed there, was the fact that today was the day. After two months of waiting, today was the day my dad either got a diagnosis or didn't. He was either sick or he was getting older. Possibly both. But I didn't want to think about that until the last possible moment. So I answered my mom's text, picked up Chinese food through a drive through, and came back to the office. Where I saw this email from my mother:

Early stage parkinson's. He is going to be a part of a study that is funded by
michael j fox fondation. If he were already on med he couldn't be part of study

I don't know what to think. I should be so thankful, so grateful! So relieved that he has this and not something else. Happy that it's early days. And I promise, I will be. I have a lot of reading to do now.

But all I keep coming back to is this... On October 30, 1995, I lost my beloved grandfather. It was five days after his 55th wedding anniversary. He had Parkinson's. That isn't what got him, but it was a contributing factor.

And today, two months and five days before my own parents' 45th wedding anniversay, my DADDY, my HERO, my wonderful, extremely active, unbelievably creative father just received some devastating news.

So today? I'm heartbroken. I went outside just now, and saw the clouds coming in. They felt appropriate.

Busy, Busy!

Stop the insanity!

Our lives have been non-stop, GO! GO! GO! I cannot remember when we have had a spare moment to just sit and breathe in and out. I think it started when we signed Boy Pop up for his first season of organized sports. No one told me that my life was going to belong to baseball and soccer fields and Tae Kwon Do studios for the past three years, but here we are.

Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I’m proud of all my boy wants to do and all that he has accomplished during this time. Did I tell you that we started our first season of “Coach Pitch” baseball this fall? No? Well we did. And when you go from hitting a ball sitting still on a Tee to having one thrown at you for you to judge and hit, well, there is a learning curve! We started unofficial baseball practices with our team during the first week of August. The season started on September 11th. Boy Pop has come such a long way. He even got the game ball for most valuable/most improved player after our second game of the season! I think he’s really developing a talent for this sport.

But with day camp all summer (all outdoors) and tae kwon do twice per week, the two practices per week for baseball were definitely exhausting on all of us. And now we have games. But if he’s happy and loves it, it is all good.

I’ve been working, working, working, as has Dr Pop. My heart is not in it lately, though. Last year, we started working from home twice per week. It has made a huge difference in my attitude about this place. I can honestly say that I don’t think I could have made it here this long without the benefit of my work from home days. But lately I’m finding myself more and more stressed out. I don’t want to go to sleep at night because that means I’m closer to another day of work. My job is not difficult to do. My tasks are relatively simple and I get paid fairly well to do them. Not a lot is asked of me and I’m pretty much left to my own devices. But. There’s always a but, isn’t there? But there’s just something that is nagging at me. Some undeveloped feeling, something that I cannot quite put into words, something that is welling up inside me and makes me dread the work day.

I was telling Dr Pop about how stressed I am and he told me that I didn’t seem stressed and I didn’t really complain about work. And I don’t… Much. I try very hard to NOT complain about my day or bitch about my company’s daily doses of dumbassery and jackassery. It serves no purpose because at the end of the day, I’m home and I’m complacent in my role and my paycheck. I work just hard enough to get by and hit my number. I know what I need to do and how I need to do it. And while making significantly more money is appealing, the prospect of actually working harder for it is not (yes, I know I’m what’s wrong with people these days).

So here I sit. I’ve just completed my first rambling post in quite some time and I feel better for it. I need to get back into gear with my blogging.

What I'll Be Watching This Weekend

So, um, HI! In case you haven't heard, we're expecting a little ole weather event here in Texas tonight...

For the record, I live about 220 miles from where this behemoth is supposed to make landfall, but I do have family in the area. They are not in the evacuation area and are fine. They are expecting (per my grandmother) "a little wind and some rain."

Look at the state of Texas there on the map, then look at the satellite image of Mr. Ike. This is not a small storm.

So naturally, when something big happens 200 miles away, the people 'round here panic and do silly things. Stuff like raid the grocery stores and buy a year's supply of water and bread, invade gas stations so regular people can't find a parking spot to go in and grab her usual cup of coffee in the morning, Postpone football games, etc. You know. The usual.*

So while Dr, Boy, and I are holed up in our house, watching news coverage, firing up the grill, and NOT going to a football game, I need your help.

Does anyone have a good hurricane recipe?

I think we're going to need to get our drink on this weekend.

*I would like to take this moment to mention that I am not heartless or without compassion. My thoughts and prayers are with all of the evacuees and all those who chose to stay.** Godspeed and be safe.

**Although, if you were one of the MORONS who were told that if you stayed where you were, you'd fucking DIE and then chose to stay, I feel more pity than anything, since there is no cure for stupid.***

***But I still hope you are safe.

Complacency

I get comfortable in a place and have a hard time moving out of it. Sometimes I need a good push to move myself forward.

I am complacent in my little world. I am happy and content with my personal life and comfortable professionally.

While I don't believe the personal side of things needs change, I know in my professional/working world (and have known for a long time) that I want to do something... Different.

Can someone please come light a fire under my ass to get this done? Or at least hand me a book of matches so I can do it myself? I seem to have lost mine.

Almost the Dog Days...

Here it is, July 22nd. The month is winding down, and with it, summer. We have one year left of no school before Boy Pop enters kindergarten officially. We're debating having him complete a year of private kindergarten this year in preparation for him to be full-on immersed in elementary school, but to tell you the truth, I am not so sure I want it to happen. I do not want to have to be responsible for homework yet. I don't want him to have the pressure of school yet, either. And from what I hear about elementary school these days, it is definitely pressure-filled.

The official "dog days of summer" don't start until August, but that is 9 days away. Before I know it, I'll be planning Boy Pop's 5th birthday. I do not know where the time has gone, but I do know that we haven't completed much on my personal summer "to-do" fun list... We definitely need to get on that and fast!

Every year goes by just a little bit faster. I don't know why time seems to do this, but I want it to stop. I want to hit the pause button for a little while and enjoy this time a little bit more. My son is at an awesome age and Dr Pop and I are enjoying him and each other more than ever. I'm not ready to move ahead just yet.

Whiney, whiney, whine, whine, whine.

Yeah, I get it. But! I'm just not ready yet! But I know that I'd better batten down the hatches and get good and damn well ready, though, because time does indeed march on. It is marching ever-forward.

I'm considering yet another career change. Maybe. I'm very happy to be employed in the current market, but there are some goals that I have that cannot be fulfilled in my current position. I'm giving myself a year to figure this out. I want to have the opportunity to work Boy Pop's school hours and also spend some time writing real stuff instead of blog stuff. I know one thing that will make that possible, but I'm not sure I'm ready to 1) take the pay cut or 2) deal with teenagers on a daily basis, so that idea is not at the forefront right yet. I do know that I would like to do something different. But I am in a relatively comfortable zone here, so heck. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I'm just blathering.

Whining and blathering.

I need to get off my ass and get some summer family excursions planned STAT! (See what I did there? I circled back to the initial post topic.)

So for now, I'll leave you with some final pictures from the first part of the summer...

Fun dinner with friends in June.

Engagement party.

Birthday card and present opening.

Official birthday dinner...

Nothing Good Can Come of It...

Several years ago, I used to rant to myself all the time. Sometimes I'd write it down on paper, sometimes I'd write a draft blog, sometimes I'd email myself. I had a lot of pain and quite a bit of anger boiling inside me and the only the thing that kept me sane was getting the rant out and moving on. I said a lot of things that I didn't truly mean in those rants. And I said a lot of things that I did sort of mean at that specific moment in time.

When I would get upset by someone in my life, instead of venting everything at them, I would let the words flow through my fingertips. That way, I got out what I needed to get out, but I didn't say things out loud that could not be taken back. Of course, I never gave a single thought to what it would mean if someone happened to see the words.

During that time, I would also look for the blogs of others who were in a worse place emotionally that I was (to make myself feel better). I found several that fit the bill. Strangely enough, reading stuff like that really made me put things into perspective and realize that writing things like that down was hurtful and potentially devastating to the person it was about. And while it can feel good to vent sometimes, if the subjects of MY venting ever saw my emotional writing, they could be hurt by it.

So for the same reason I quit going to "Mothers" groups (too much bitching about husbands), I stopped reading the blogs.

I also stopped the ranting and promptly forgot all about it. Not too long ago, I rediscovered several rants while going through my drafts and re-reading that rawness made me start to shake. Uncontrollably. It was devastating for ME to read how angry I was back then, so I cannot imagine how someone else might feel if they read it.

I believe that we all have bad days. I believe that we all have a deepness to us. I believe that we all hurt at one point or another in our lives. It is easy to appear to have a perfect life when things are going well. It is easy to look happy. It is easy to be happy. But I would not be the person I am today had I not gone through the sadness and the pain. Had I not made the choices I made. Had I not taken a deeper look at my actions and how they could be a root cause for what was going on in my life at the time.

I accepted fault for what was my fault. I forgave what needed to be forgiven. And I moved forward.

Nothing good can come of those words from so long ago. So even though I have some curiosity for finding the rest of my rants, I'm doing a major delete job over the coming days.

I love what my life has become and I love my husband, son, family, and friends. I would never deliberately hurt them or make them think otherwise.

Loving the Springtime Weather!*

*Except for today. Today is rain day. Nasty, stormy, rain day. Necessary rain, yes. But... Booooooo!

I don't know why the term "Spring Cleaning" was coined, but it was certainly appropriate this past Sunday.

After we enjoyed the beautiful Austin weather on Saturday by eating at an old favorite, then running an errand that put us in the direct path of a multitude of hippies, we headed home and relaxed for the remainder of the daylight hours. Later that night, we watched what was quite possibly one of the best fights I've seen in a very long time on PPV.

Sunday dawned bright and beautiful, so we took the opportunity to go look for some shorts for the Boy, some flowers for the yard, and some groceries for all of us. We came up empty on the shorts and flowers, but did get some food, so, YAY us!

The remainder of Sunday was spent cleaning up and cleaning out, both inside and outside. My "workout" on Sunday was more of the "shovel a winter's worth of dog poop out of the backyard" variety. I cleaned out Boy Pop's closet and dug out some shorts and pants that still fit until we could replace them while Dr Pop power washed the back windows. I did laundry while Dr Pop cleaned the back porch. I cleaned out the cat litter, dusted, and vacuumed while Dr Pop killed fire ant mounds and fertilized the grass.

It was a good, accomplished day. I think the best part of the day, though, was how well we all worked together. Even Boy Pop pitched in as best he could. Well that, and the giant frozen screwdriver I made to quench my thirst as I worked. It's much more fun to clean with a good buzz!

To-Do List version 2008

Y'all, I took down my New Year's Resolution post. I just wasn't feeling it. In fact, I'm not really feelin' this year so far. The last two weeks have just been a bit surreal and, um, yeah... See? I can't even put my finger on what is going on here! It's been a blur, really, but not in a frantic, speeding by kind of way.

I haven't even made a single list in the new year. That right there tells me something is very wrong. So the thing is, I'm not really good with resolutions. Not really. I love making them. Love the process of digging through all the things I think I should be doing and making the list of things I want to change about myself.

I need something to knock my butt back on course and back in the swing of things. It's EIGHT DAYS into the new year. It's about time. I think having my son ask me on Monday if I was going to do my work out was a hint or something...

So. Here's my list of things to do in 2008 (in no particular order):

Plan out menus, grocery shop in advance, and prepare and cook healthy dinners for my family more than once or twice per week.

Plan and execute a mother/daughter weekend with my mother.

Go to the beach.

Get back to eating right and working out regularly (i.e. get back my rockin' bod) not just in preparation for said beach vacation (above) but also beyond the vacation and get to the point where I never have to make another "work out/eat right" resolution-type thingy ever again!

Drink more water and take a vitamin every day.

Take my son to the park more.

Go to church more often (since I don't believe I made it at all in 2007, the term "more" technically means "once" but I'm aiming for "more than once or twice" so as not to set myself up for failure automatically with an "every Sunday"-type resolution that would have already been broken).

Snuggle more with Dr Pop on the couch.

Kiss Dr Pop more (much more... Hey baby, let's make out!).

Actively participate when playing with Boy Pop instead of always being distracted.

Pay off the store cards.

Save more of my income.

Make my home a showplace by finally (after more than four years) decorating it, painting walls, moving furniture, clearing out all the crap, and generally treating it like we are going to be here a long while.

Remember that I have gone through hard times and give to those who are less fortunate than myself.

Continue to teach Boy Pop to give back.

Treat the environment better than I do (i.e. maybe get a recycling bin or two?).

Stay on top of laundry and tidying up during the week so that I don't have to spend the weekend playing catch-up for all the stuff I let go.

Flirt with my husband more. I've forgotten how to flirt, though. Lord, he's going to think I've lost my mind!

Take our tax forms to the accountant before April 10th... Preferably get them to him in January or February.

Let go of the grudges that I still hold and make peace with the past so that I can live in the present.

Do all of my Christmas shopping in November.

Put together Boy Pop's baby book (Yes. He's four. So what?).

Do more craft projects with Boy Pop. He loves them and so do I!

Find my balance between work and life and find my niche professionally. I need to be passionate about a job to truly enjoy myself and if I'm spending a third of my week somewhere, I need to at least enjoy myself, otherwise, why exactly aren't I home with my kid?

So that's it, I suppose. It's a fairly lengthy list and it is ambitious and still incomplete in a lot of ways, but I really feel that 2008 is going to be a stellar one. It may not have gotten off to the best of starts, energy-wise, for me, but so far, eight days in, it hasn't totally sucked, either. And that's saying something!

Quick Update

I got my Christmas wish. Mema came home on Christmas Eve.

Santa was also generous with the gifts.

I am one very lucky girl.

Weekend Recap

It was quite a weekend in the Pop household, capped by two different Santa visits for Boy Pop. I'll get to all that later.

On Friday, I took a much-needed day off to take care of some business that I'd been putting off. I also cleaned my house as my maid cancelled on me... Let's see, that makes four weeks since her last visit. You know it's bad when your child notices that the bathroom has been cleaned. AND comments on it. Ugh.

Early Friday evening, Dr Pop, Boy Pop, and I drove up to a nearby suburb and rode on the local Polar Express trainride. It was about a four hour adventure including drive and wait time, with the actual ride itself lasting two hours.

We did have a good time, although I think the ride could be shortened a bit and not have lost any of the "magic" for the kids. If you have one in your area, you really ought to check it out. The Austin one gets sold out every year.

What happened during the ride, you ask? Well, the local girl scouts read the story of The Polar Express aloud, Mrs. Claus handed out bells, Santa handed out candy canes, there was a Christmas carol sing-along, and there was an authentic conductor who punched initials into each child's ticket.

In some spots we were able to see Christmas lights in the distance, too. It was a fun evening, but the Boy enjoyed it the most (that's what getting all hopped up on sugar and candy canes and hot chocolate will do).

The above is a gratuitous pet photo... The cats are starting to get along... Sort of.

Bright and early Saturday morning, my parents came to pick up the Boy for a day an night out with them. While they were having fun, Dr Pop and I went shopping, then I had a hair appointment. My hairdresser, after touching up my roots and putting in some dark streaks, lopped about four inches off the back and sides of my hair. I'm still a little in shock and not sure how I feel about the new look as I'd only anticipated two inches at most. At least my hair ends are healthy and thick. That's a good thing.

Saturday night marked the night of a much-anticipated fight on PPV... The Mayweather/Hatton matchup. Let me just say this about the two fighters (I admit that much of what I know comes from their pre-fight reality show and their press, but still, I am able to draw a conclusion or two)... I simply adore Ricky Hatton, who appears to be completely unaffected by his press and by his talent and money. He's down-to-earth, jokes around, and enjoys the simple things (like being there for his son).

Conversely, Floyd Mayweather, Jr. pretty much disgusts me. Sit through one interview or watch one show where he throws stacks of money around or discusses the price tag of one of his cars and tell me he doesn't do the same for you. It's one thing to have all that money. But money cannot buy class.

Oh. Hatton lost. Of course. And I cursed and drank a lot Saturday night.

That brings us to Sunday. I woke up with a raging hangover, called my mom, and ended up dragging myself out to the mall to meet them for an official Santa visit and lunch. As we were finishing up, my exhausted child fell asleep, so we just loaded him and his stuff into my car, and I said my goodbyes to my folks as they headed back home and I headed to our house. On the way home, though, the craziest thing happened... The temperature started dropping and by the time I got to the house, it had fallen by 10 degrees. It seems that the cold front anticipated for Monday came a day early.

Have I mentioned how much I love winter? And on top of the good-weather-fortune, we arrived home in time to see the Cowboys come back and beat Detroit. Life can't get much better. We all hibernated inside for the rest of the day, I washed dishes and did laundry, Boy Pop played, and Dr Pop braved the cold to grill us some ribeyes.

And now it is Monday. Have a great week!