Thursday, April 16, 2009

Facebook and Girlfriends

I've been way too addicted to Facebook lately. I'm a little torn, actually. On the one hand, I have a small circle of friends on there, who I've known forever, who I am still in contact with. Facebook is just another way of keeping in touch. And it gives us the opportunity to connect when normally we wouldn't. For example, I never see some of my friends. But on fb, I can write on their walls, see pictures of their kids, laugh, and joke. And since I detest talking on the phone and avoid it at all costs, this has been fantastic.

On the other hand, it is a reminder of all that made me miserable growing up. I have these high school friends on fb and they are really acquaintences. We were not friends growing up. We just knew each other. We went to the same parties. They were part of the "in" group. I was on the periphery. And that's fine. I thought I got over all that stuff 17 years ago. But after someone posted pictures they'd scanned of the social club I'd been left out of my sophomore year of high school, I regressed for a moment to that 15 year old insecure little girl who just wanted to be popular. Ugh. I nearly cancelled my membership.

Then, I stepped back from the ledge and started thinking about myself. I did some introspection. And I decided that I'm not a very good girlfriend in the normal ways and here's why:
  • I don't like to leave my house or my neighborhood once I'm there for the night or weekend.
  • I don't enjoy talking on the phone.
  • I don't like to go out without my husband.
  • Hell, I still haven't met one of my college roommates second child and he's almost a year old! And the last time I saw my other college roommate, she had one child (who was a baby) and now her daughters are in school (or about to be).
  • Girls' Nights Out are nonexistant in my world.
  • I don't shop well with others.
  • I don't ever meet anyone for lunch.
  • I've never gone on a "girls" trip.

I could go on, but over the past few years or so, I've put myself in this little insulated world which revolves around my husband, our son, and our neighborhood. I don't know why or how it happend, but I rarely stray from it. Sure, I have a lot of fun! We are always doing something. But the typical "girly" stuff is pretty much nil. Maybe it's poor time management. It always seems that everyone but me has time to go to the gym, shop, tote the kids to their various functions, cook dinner, clean the house, spend time with their friends, and work a full time job. I get overwhelmed by it all.

But I would like to say to all of my girlfriends out there, I might not do all the little things that girlfriends are supposed to do, but you will never find someone more fiercely loyal or protective or willing to come when needed. You know I'm there for you. Always.

Maybe we could meet for lunch?


Anonymous said...

oh ellen. im right there with you on this post. i feel the same way - TONS of "friends" but none that i regularly get together with. i think it has to do with being a working mom. we have a very limited amount of free time and what we do have, we devote to our family. i don't think we should judge ourselves for a second abou tthat decision. there will be a time soon when our kids won't WANT us around. THAT is when the girl trips, etc will begin.... amy

Myrinda said...

great post!! really rings true here too, except I don't even twinge about HS stuff anymore, so it's cool...I just remind myself of all the great ADULT people I know. I DO make the effort to get together with girlfriends though we are scattered to the four winds and most of that is done during trade shows or at one friend's annual bbq.
Def meet some of your local friends for lunch, you have to eat anyway, right?
As for all the rest, FB is AWESOME! lol!

Anonymous said...

For starters, girls trips aren't all they are cracked up to be. You just miss out on drinking too much and spending too much money at stores you are peer pressured into shopping at. But, I hear ya.