Teeth

Holy Smokes, y’all! Have I got a TON of picture downloading/backing-up to do! I have not backed up a picture since December. Ugh!

Last night, my darling little baby boy lost his second tooth. It’s been hanging in there for several weeks without coming out, so last night, Boy Pop decided (and was encouraged) to give it some really good yanks. And he did. Only he couldn’t get it all the way out, so Dr Pop finished the job. That would be TWO teeth my baby has lost before he’s even turned 6! Both of his bottom front teeth are now gone, making way for his permanent teeth.

I have both teeth in a little bag in my dresser. I remember the day he got them. March 2nd, 2004. Texas Independence Day. He cried all day long and then my maid, who witnessed his fussiness told me to feel in his mouth. Two little teeth were budding up.

Sigh!

I wish I could go back and visit that time. We had some hard, tough days during Boy Pop’s first year and a half, and I definitely do not want to relive those! But the thing that keeps bugging me, has been on my mind just about every single day of my child’s life, is that I did not fully appreciate the time I had with my son. I don’t fully appreciate the time I have. There’s always something that absolutely must be done right this second! There is always something going on that takes (took) priority over simply being with him. I mean come ON! That house won’t clean itself, the laundry won’t wash itself, the money won’t earn itself, our food won’t cook itself…

And the guilt is overwhelming. I live with guilt every day of my life. Self-imposed guilt. That I’m not good enough for him. That all the things we do together are not enough. That we only get to do things together after I get home from work. That I slip up most of the time and don’t make my family sit down together for dinner every single night. The list goes on and on.

The reality is that my child is a happy, well-adjusted, independent, healthy 5 (and three quarters!) year old. He will soon graduate to his green belt in Tiny Tigers Tae Kwon Do. He will be starting kindergarten in under two months. In a very short period of time, a flash, really, he has gone from relying on me for his very existence to pulling out his own teeth without hesitation.