Negative

Yesterday evening, as I was relaying my day to Dr Pop, he stopped me and asked, "Did ANYTHING good happen today?"

The past six or so months at work have really beaten me down. The stress has taken its toll on my face in the form of breakouts. I've been more on edge. I've been a little cranky off and on.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. My company's fiscal year was coming to a close. We get paid a draw commission that we don't break even on until we hit a certain percentage of our quota. Remember how I said that the past six months at work have gotten me down? It's because I knew almost from the beginning that I would owe back every penny. How's that for fun? I owe back every penny of commission they paid me over the past five months.

So? Fine. Dr Pop and I will be okay. It sucks, but it luckily isn't the end of the world. It just shrinks my contribution to the household.

Then last Monday, I get a call from my brother, who is in upper management at my company. He told me to "be prepared" to be let go on Thursday. Gotta love insider information, right? Since I've been "prepared" to be laid off just about every quarter over the past two years, I was already set to be tapped on my shoulder in my head.

I survived the day with my job intact. Sadly, a large number of my friends did not. And we all sat at our desks waiting for word of the next person or waiting for the inevitable, "I need to see you in a team room." And then it was over.

Friday I got my new account list for the next six months. I should be thankful to have a job and I AM!!! But I hate account transitions.

Anyway. The past little while has not been peaceful. I haven't been sleeping well. And yesterday was an exceptionally rough day, one that had me sitting at my desk at home, defeated and in tears. I needed to cry. It was a stress-reducer as I'd been holding in the stress-induced, tired, tense, sometimes angry, sometimes sad tears for a while. And I did feel better.

But when I was relating my day to Dr Pop, who had been sleeping most of the day, sick, I just kept pouring on the bad. "They wouldn't let me pick up Boy Pop at Sunday School." "Whataburger couldn't get my order right." "I cannot shop at that mall ever again!" "M called and she thinks Boy Pop's friend, who he played with all day yesterday, has strep throat." I don't think I even realized that I was doing it. So I was thankful that Dr Pop helped put it all into perspective for me. And even discovering that the cat peed on my beautiful couch barely phased me. Because hey! We have Nature's Miracle and a wonderful shock mat that will surprise the hell outta that little bastard the next time he thinks he's going to empty his fucking bladder on my couch!

This is my birthday month, dammnit!!! I need to let go of the negative b.s. That's what it is, you know. Bullshit. If you think positive thoughts, positive things will come to you.

I'm going to make a conscious effort to look for the good in any situation and not dwell on the negative side of things. I mean, so much is going right!

Now, back to the daily grind... And the working out! I documented some more activity over at the workout blog. Long story short, I'm sore, but I haven't lost a single pound.