Monday, August 25, 2008

The Truth Hurts

In a lot of ways, I'm a very straightforward and blunt person. I am not a cruel person, but I call it like I see it.

A little background...

My family was of the "suck it up" variety. In fact, when my mother would be critical of me, if I reacted in a hurt way, she would come back with, "You're too sensitive," or something similar. Then she would say that she's only telling me these things because she loves me. And, fine. I bought into that. She was and is a great person and a good mother. She has a very large heart and is very generous, but sometimes her delivery methods could be perceived as hurtful.

I realized this weekend that I might be the same. I am blunt. I tend to have a knee-jerk reaction to things. I've been able to temper the reaction when it comes to my husband and son, but when it comes to my friends, well, like I said before, I call 'em like I see 'em. And my delivery can be a bit off.

That is my cross to bear. There are time when the truth hurts, but it needs to be said. I remember a time when my friends gathered to me and told me some very harsh truths about a destructive relationship I was in. They told me flat out that it was either him or them, but they were tired of seeing me hurt over and over again. They couldn't continue to listen to me complain about him, but not do anything about it. I was so unbelievably hurt by that conversation. I felt completely abandoned, alone, and lost.

It took me a while to appreciate what they did. But after a while, I realized that they had to be that harsh and they did it out of love. I'm not sure I ever thanked them for it, either. So Karly and Brandi? Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. You were true friends even when it was not easy.

I am who I am. I can dish it out and I can take it. Maybe I need to temper my words and cushion them a little. But sometimes, bluntness is called for. And sometimes, the truth hurts. I'll never say anything to anyone with a mean heart or with malice.* But I have no hidden agenda. If you are my friend, I want you to be happy. Period. And if you cannot take it, then maybe you should try sucking it up and actually listening to reality.

*Unless you deliberately threaten my family. Then? All bets are off.

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