Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Clearing the Clutter

I have too much crap. We have too much crap. Every cabinet, nook, and cranny is filled to the brim with Stuff. And clothes. And shoes. And old magazines and candles. My house is filled with tons of crap that we cannot bring ourselves to get rid of. And the crap is taking over.

I think it is affecting my sanity. For real! It stresses me out completely, and I don't know how to make it go away. I really need the Clean Sweep folks to come in and help. That way we'll be forced to get rid of stuff.

I have this dream of how I want our house to be... From the downstairs study/playroom to the room that is called the "office" upstairs, but is really a catch-all junk room that houses computers who cease to be. But our family's packrat ways are prohibitive. Honestly, I just want to back up one of those big dumpsters and just start tossing stuff. Or asking Goodwill to bring a truck.

I am giving up/cutting back on Diet Coke. I consume way too much of it. A twelve-pack will only last a day or two for me. But it is sort of like saying goodbye to a friend I've had since 1982. I like the taste and prefer Diet Cokes to just about anything else. So a couple of weeks ago, when the last of it ran out at the house, I didn't replace it. But every morning before work, I'd pick up a large one. And I'd buy one or two from the machine at work, too... Okay, usually, it was at least three. Then my convenience store closed. And the weekend came. And I did not replace my drinks.

Over the past weekend, I only had one Diet Coke. Yesterday, I only had one. Today, I will only have one. I've been replacing it with iced tea and water. I'm feeling pretty good about it. And the money I'll save! Whew! My husband added it up for me and I could keep around $1000 over the course of a year. That is amazing.

I almost don't want to say anything in fear of jinxing myself, but yesterday I went and ran/walked for the first time in ages. It felt really good, but frustrating, too. You see, I realized what I did to myself by not keeping up with my workouts once I made it to my vacation. I've put on a few pounds, my lovely muscle tone has gone into hiding, and in general, I feel really crappy about myself because of it.

But yesterday was a fresh start. I'm taking control again. And I will cook nutritious meals and exercise regularly. I will take care of my body so that I can take care of my family. I want that energy to return. I was also a wee bit happier when I felt as good as I did. So there you are.

(Rant) I've been going through a stressful time at work that has lasted for quite a while. It's frustrating. But it's made me think a lot about what I want to be doing with my life and where I want to be spending more than a third of my day. I define myself as a wife and mother. I have a talent for working with people and young adults. I love to design and make jewelry, but not for a living. I adore helping people look their best even when I don't follow my own advice. I love sharing bargains that I find with my friends and family. I enjoy cooking and trying out new recipes when I have the energy. I enjoy dusting and vacuuming and wiping down my kitchen counters. I get a thrill from writing and don't really give a damn if I have a talent for it or not. I love being visually creative, but rarely have the time or supplies to do so (with the exception of the necklaces I used to make). I detest the cubicle environment and being made to feel guilty when I go to one of my son's school events during the day (I deal with the guilt. You can't keep me away from my baby!). I have a passion for books and will read just about anything. Lately I've been reading cookbooks like they were novels. I feel really good about being able to make a contribution to the family finances and don't want to lose that. So where does that leave me? I don't know.

Dr Pop is going out of town for work again this week. I'm sad. While I do value having some time to myself on occasion, I do not like being alone, and I definitely do not like spending the night by myself. I miss my husband when he is gone.

Boy Pop took his very first field trip ever today. He went to the pumpkin patch. I cannot wait to hear him tell me all about it!!! He was so excited last night just thinking about getting on a bus.

I have a new favorite cereal... Kashi Go Lean Crunch: Honey Almond Flax. I keep a box in my desk. It is my breakfast and my go-to snack.

I think I'm done for now. I simply am drawing a blank when I know I have more to spill.

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