Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Livin the life... But is it the "good" life? Am I Kathy Hilton yet?

So, as I stated before, I am a reality TV junkie. The world ends if I miss an episode of Survivor or Big Brother. Literally. MY WORLD ENDS for a few moments at least. The devastation, the crying, the sulking, the frantic search on both the "guide" and online for a replay... And that's just my husband!

I began watching "I Want To Be A Hilton" with a mixture of skepticism and envy. After all, who wouldn't want to be a Hilton? Yet, how could this be done without looking snobbish and cheesy? As per usual, I was sucked into it from the start... Think about it. Where else would a bunch of trashy hicks have a chance to learn etiquette and style? When else would they have the opportunity to win a boat load of cash and a beautiful apartment in a high-end area of Manhattan? Actually, when else would any of us have that opportunity? Live FREE in an upscale condo in FREAKING MANHATTAN?!?!?!? I wanna be a Hilton, too!!!

So I live vicariously through all these people. But that's not to say I don't live my own life as well. Sure, I watch more then my recommended daily allowance of television. So what? Where is the harm? While the TV is on, I have conversations with my husband and child, fix dinner, straighten up the house, do loads of laundry, and take a few moments to relax and not think. Considering the hectic pace of my life, it's nice to let my brain melt for a little while. It's not like either me or my husband are leaving our child out there to forage for himself while we sit like drones, unblinkingly staring at some crazy movement on a screen!

One of my closest friends called me on Sunday to invite me on a panel discussion at her church about the dangers of watching TV and how it affects children. I don't need a panel of people to tell me that certain things have a negative impact on people (kids and adults alike). But I am a strong believer in FREE WILL and PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY. Two things that seem to be a totally foreign concept among today's popular thinkers. Oh, and I also believe strongly in COMMON SENSE. Again, something sorely lacking in today's society. For example, I do not necessarily believe that my two year old son should watch violent movies or TV shows. Not that I think he will toddle himself out and kill someone because the TV made him do it, but because such things could cause nightmares and that's something I'd like to avoid at all costs! Additionally, I closely monitor the TV my child is allowed to see. I don't think it is a bad thing to let him watch Elmo play with other animals or Barney sing with kids or Thomas learn a lesson. Critics of allowing young children watch TV say that studies show children who are allowed to watch television have poorer communication skills than those whose parents keep the set turned off and only allow books. Maybe I'm an anarchist. My husband and I watch the shows with Joey until his attention span peters out and we also read to him! How novel! Pun intended. And, at 1 year, 11 months, and 25 days, my son speaks sentences of up to five words, knows his alphabet, counts to 20, sings songs, and carries on intelligent conversations. TV and all.

But enough of my rant geared toward those anti-TV radicals. I love TV.

And no, I'm not Kathy Hilton. I will never be Kathy Hilton because I'm stopping at one child and he is a boy, not a girl. I am not married to a real estate tycoon, either. But that's okay. I'm living my life and it suits me... I've got a house that only cost my soul and a mortgage payment, I've got transportation, I've got my little family, and I've got my health. It's a pretty good life, all-in-all. Definitely a good reality TV candidate...

I can see it all now... Formula for my very own reality TV show:
outrageous and sexy title: D.I.O.K.I.T.S. (Dual Income One Kid In The Suburbs)
Story: Allow the cameras in out house and lives 24/7 for a month or two. Show us at work, home, play, with relatives, etc. In fact, the story could revolve around the relationships my husband and I have with our extended families. Now THAT would be entertaining. Complete with confessionals.

Bunim/Murphy, here we come!

Of course, after the show, we would field offers from both Hef and Hollywood. We'd milk our 15 minutes for all they're worth. Joey'd get his own agent and I'd go from technology sales person to stage mom almost overnight. He'll make millions of dollars, start partying at age 13, be in drug rehab at 16, married by 18 for a period of not more than 5 months, at which time he'll have it annulled, there will be several tabloid articles about illegitimate children, he'll trek to Tibet to find himself and be gone for a year, return, have a huge "comeback" big-budget film, start dating Rumer Willis or some other crazy actor's child, get married again in a secret service on a private estate on the island of Kauai, make me a legitimate grandmother, enter drug rehab again for a relapse caused by the stress of work, LA, and the recent release of some kinky sex tape, move to a ranch in Wyoming, and forget to call his mother.

On second thought, maybe reality TV is bad after all.

Kathy can have her "good" life. Mine's just fine as-is. Thankyouverymuch!


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